Screwin’ with Denise Thimes. When I tell you the block is hot, y’all better believe it. The one and only Denise Thimes was clipped at the CWE Culpepper’s night before last, and y’all were blowin’ me up with texts and e-mails something vicious.

The folks were at it so tough that my leg was movin’ like I had some sort of nerve disorder even after I cut my doggone phone off. I truly appreciate y’all for that too…please if you see something that you feel is worthy of my time, don’t hesitate to hit me up at dshante@stlameican.com. There’s no such thing as too many good sources.

Okay, let me get on with the get on. So what I heard is that Denise Thimes (who is on her way to sing for First Lady Michelle Obama in a few days, btw) was having dinner with a friend when she allegedly discovered a screw (actually it was a bolt, but the headline is better this way) was in her soup. According to Denise, she took the item to the manager and they said that she (Denise) had put the bolt in her own soup. Ms. Thimes was reportedly not having it. Word on the curb is that she proceeded to turn the heat up near that kitchen so badly that they called the law and escorted her out of the place in handcuffs. She was arrested for peace disturbance but says that Chief Isom and the STLPD “handled the situation in a timely manner,” so she didn’t have to do any time. Culpepper’s literally had no words – upon the advice of attorney, of course. Something tells me that there may be a lawsuit cookin’ that’s gonna be hotter than those wings!

A new sense of fashion. It’s no secret that I’m 1000% (that’s right a stack!) impressed with Shan Keith and the fieaaacceee (that’s extra fierce) designs he displayed at the Windows on Washington Friday night, right? Of course not. He had it all for the summer, spring, winter and fall (don’t act like you didn’t know I could flow...heyyyyy, I did it again) and for all shapes and sizes. But let me tell you I was just as impressed with the guests! The entire audience was full of faashionistas, you betta believe it! But as I was people-watchin’, my heart skipped a beat when one of my hall-of-fame muses came out (no pun intended) with the thunder in an ensemble that had heads turning all night long! I’ve decided to take some time to pour out this love letter. Oh Skylar, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…is it your china doll quick weave with purple punk rock streaks? (Absolutely!) Is it your patchwork rabbit, coon, possum fur vest? Is it your partner in crime that looked like Grace Jones’ secret long lost love child in those “Pull up to My Bumper” red leather gloves? All of the above. Please Skylar, please, please, please keep doing you! You light up my life by the fact that you are not afraid to go against the grain and laugh in the face of conformity.

Notes and Jokes. Since I’m already talking about the few who have an esteemed place in my heart within the loves of my life/all-time great ones category, I might as well mention the man who for some reason remains in 3rd place no matter how long it’s been since he’s had a hit. My beloved Curl (Carl) Thomas and his texturizing lotion will be at the Ambassador next Saturday for Notes and Jokes. I’ve been bumpin’ “I Wish” and “Summer Rain” back to back on a special cassette to ready myself. The fellows of Free Time must have had some sorceror/roots woman read into the inner-desires of my soul to know to bring him and I appreciate them for it. They are also bringing 90’s comic Pierre to handle the Jokes side of things. I know you’re wondering why he holds the key to my heart but don’t ask, ‘cause I can’t explain.

Return of the Beat (and the Art & Lyrics). Last year it was a serious contender for the top party of 2008 and something tells me that it’s going to be business as usual on Friday as it returns to the Hilton St. Louis @ The Ballpark tomorrow night from 7 p.m. – midnight. I’ve been practicing my centipede all year long so watch out!

Boots knockin’ music at the Ambassador. I don’t quite know what to call the crowd that was in their prime at the age of the ridiculously raunchy R&B of the early-mid 1990’s. I KNOW I AIN’T OLD and we shol (as my big granny would say) ain’t thundercats. Either way there will be some bodies rockin’ (get it) at the Ambassador as H-Town, Troop (who aren’t necessarily nasty, but they are on the bill so they have to live with my comments) and Next take the stage at the Ambassador tonight! Y’all know I’m going to dust off my Jodeci boots and Jeans West outfit off and roll down there like its 1990-something! Doors open at 7 p.m.

A black out Halloween. I mean honestly, did every single black person in the 314 just up and decided to have a Halloween party this weekend? I’m gonna be the one blacking out! Y’all got me ready to go as the Invisible Man and not be anywhere (get it). But anyway, I am exhausted just thinking about the parties that are taking place at every corner of the city and beyond. I don’t even have time to go into details on each one or Partyline would be 17 pages long. But I will list them and you go to the ones you see fit. I’ve already been getting lightweight harassed by the ladies trying to figure out which one has the biggest payout on the costume contest tip. SLIM and ‘nem are supposed to be giving away $4K (that’s right 4 stacks) at Karma and the Derrty’s are said to be giving away a 50 inch LCD TV at the Venue and the Rams’ Randy McMichael is giving away $1k at the Lure. That’s what I got. Now decide amongst yourselves which ones you are going to hit up. But you promoters are tryin’ to put me in the hospital with all of these kickin’ it opps! Y’all might not see me until Valentine’s Day if it goes down like I think it will. So here’s the list.

Thursday (that’s tonight)

Café Soul presents a special Pre-Halloween all black/costume masquerade party at The Loft.

Dangerously Seductive Halloween Affair and launch Party at Lure (1204 Washington).

Friday

Fr8 Presents Seven Deadly Sins Fashion Show and Artist Exhibit (exhibit at 7 p.m., show at 8:30 p.m.) Grandel Theatre, 3610 Grandel Square

Rams All Pro Tight End Randy McMichael and teammates 3rd Annual "Guilty As Sin" Pre-Halloween Party and $1000 Costume Competition at Lure.

MPAC’s Halloween Edition of the Eye Candy Party, the Loft.

Saturday

Majic 104.9 and Lights On Broadway present the Halloween Masquerade Ball, The Starlight Room (inside Lights On Broadway) 8530 N. Broadway.

BFree Paparazzi.com, Level 6 and Flawless Ent. present the 2nd Annual Saints & Sinners Halloween Costume Party, Ziegenhein Livery & Funeral Home, 2723 Cherokee Street (Jefferson & Cherokee).

ST LUNATICS Annual Costume Party with 50" HD TV and $4K giveaway, THE VENUE(5960 Dr Martin Luther King.

MPAC presents Halloween on Bourbon Street: New Orleans Style, The City, 1917 Washington.

Halloween Masquerade Ball Benefit hosted by Staci Static, at Sandrina’s, 5098 Arsenal.

Club Karma Halloween Party and $4K costume constest ( 3137 Olive).