Ask Gwen
I No Longer Love My Husband!
I married him and I wish I hadn’t. He has turned to drinking and acts like he is crazy when drunk. He talks to himself, but mentions bringing harm to me.
NNPA
Ask Gwendolyn Baines
Dear Gwendolyn:
I met a man and when I met him I thought he was the right one, but now I wonder. I married him and I wish I hadn’t. He has turned to drinking and acts like he is crazy when drunk. He talks to himself, but mentions bringing harm to me. I don’t care for him any more. I don’t have the feelings for him like I used to have. I just don’t love him any more.
When someone makes you a promise, you want him to keep it. When I make a promise to someone, I keep mine. Love is about honesty and trust. He went out on a Friday night and said he would be back in about two hours. It took him three hours before coming back. You could smell the scent of a woman’s perfume all over him. I told him never to touch me again. I don’t even want him to kiss me.
Gwendolyn, what should I do?
Louise
Dear Louise:
I read your letter and thanks for writing to me with your problem. When a person loses feelings for someone, usually those same feelings once gone never return. In your case, try to work on your emotions and see if you can recapture what you once felt, but if you cannot, that is understandable.
You did not say your husband was abusive when drinking, but talks about. However, you did mention he left the house expected to return in two hours, but returned in three. Now, I want you to be reasonable as well. That was only “one” hour later than expected.
I thought you were going to say he returned the next morning. Come on Louise n one hour?
Let me tell you this: A woman’s perfume scent would not have been on him in three hours unless she poured it on. Although, there are some treacherous women out there who would pour perfume while he possibly fell asleep drunk in a bar. If you do not care for him and see that your feelings are not going to change, then make a firm decision. Talk to him about a separation. Who knows? He could stop the drinking once he realizes his marriage is in jeopardy and he misses having you around. However, if after experiencing a separation, you are without a doubt sure that your feelings are gone, then carefully seek a divorce. The marriage needs to end.
Louise, think about it. A marriage without passion is just two people -wasting time.
Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com