Gwendolyn Baines
NNPA Columnist
Ask Gwendolyn Baines
Dear Gwendolyn:
I have a niece who has only one child, a boy. Her mother (my sister) raised him from birth. He is now 14 years old and has been living with his biological mother for two years. She takes no time for him at all. She is at work every day while he is at school. On Saturdays and Sundays when they should be together, she spends time doing things with others. She is so mean to him. She calls him crazy. He is such a nice child. She is presently having a difficult time financially, but refuses to let family help. We want to help to be certain the boy has his needs. His grandmother wants him to come back to live with her. However, his mother won’t allow it, but yet she continues to show no love. Her boyfriend discarded her before the baby was born. Do you think she dislikes the father so much that she takes it out on her son? How can we make her have an interest?
Ann
Dear Ann:
You can’t. However, you can voice your opinion to her, but she has to make up her mind that what she is doing is wrong. You do have the correct belief in thinking that your niece dislikes his father to the point of taking her hatred out on him. This happens often and this type of behavior is bad. Have a talk with your sister. I feel the two of you need to report your niece’s child abuse to the Department of Children’s Services. This situation should be handled with great caution. I say this because sometimes Children’s Services do not award custody to the grandparents. Instead, children are placed into the foster home system and may become further abused. Let me tell you this: No mother needs to call her child names that will later cause him to be withdrawn and damaged as an adult; not being able to be a good husband, a good father, and not even having a liking for self. Therefore, try to persuade your niece to let the boy have weekend visits with you and alternate with his grandmother. When he has listened all week to being told he’s crazy, on weekends he would know — he’s a jewel.