I am interrupting my scheduled black and single programming with some serious breaking news. I don’t know if it was a full moon, my pheromones were poppin’ (in a good way of course) or what, but for the first time since my metabolism got the better of me back around ’88 I was officially in style (a term my friends and I use for actually getting multiple acts of male attention)!
Before the weekend was over I had three gentlemen (I’m using the term loosely, but since they liked me – even for a hot minute – I thought I’d give them the benefit of the doubt) approach in the same “I’ve been watchin’ you girl and now I finally wanted to see what was up,” method.
This may not seem like much to write about to ANY of you, but the turn of mack down events last weekend were more than what I got for the ENTIRE first decade of the millennium! It sounds so sad. I wish I were joking…but I’m not.
So anyway, three separate men that I had met before in some capacity. The first was the most dramatic and compelling, so – to keep you reading – I’ll save him for last.
The second was this guy who claims he saved my life by telling me that I had left my trunk open.
“You don’t even remember me do you?” He asked. I didn’t and he was kind of rouged out, so he actually frightened me as I was walking to my car after stopping through Glow at Mike Shannon’s Outfield.
“Ain’t nobody tryin’ to get you, girl,” he said with a slick grin on his face. “I only attack white women!”
I know. It was dead wrong, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember me,” he said again. “Somebody could have crawled up in there and waited for you to get home and that would have been it. So the least you can do to repay me is give me your number. After all, had it not been for me you wouldn’t be alive to call nobody!”
He was a blue collar brother and way more rough around the edges than my usual taste. But he was so funny that the idea of hilarious conversations was tempting enough for me to give him my real number.
Bad move. At 5:15 a.m. I get a call. Can you guess who it was? That’s right, the comedian. I didn’t find anything funny, but he was really trying’ to carry on a conversation with me like it was 5 p.m.
I asked him to call me back later in the afternoon – at a more reasonable hour – and he copped and attitude with me!
I’m still waiting for my follow up call. I have the feeling that I have a better chance of getting attacked after being mistaken for a white woman.
The third was pretty insignificant except for to say that I truly believe that boyfriend is pimpin’ for publicity. He had decent game though, but when he asked me about the paper more than twice I figured out the play.
But the first guy who came at me was the shock of the century. He told me that I could use his name, but I decided that some confidentiality was in order.
He and I attended high school together (nearly 20 years ago) and he goes on to profess his “like” for me and went on to say that he wanted to be my boyfriend, but I lived too far and he didn’t have a car. This was back when the SLPS started merging schools – I was a product of Northwest and he was a Beaumont original.
He would be fresh, but I didn’t think that he thought enough of me to hem me up and share his feelings fifteen years after the fact. Say what you want, but my (Negro) ego was flattered.
I even entertained the notion of us trying to pull something together after all of these years, so I got creative, got his number and called him.
I figured I knew where he stood, so it would be easy for us to get started. Shoot, I figured that by the time this edition of Black and Single printed, all six of my faithful readers would be caught up in the rapture of my newfound renewed friendship.
He never called me back. Somebody please break this down to me?
This is the second (third, if you count my Facebook fail) time in a row that I bet on a sure thing and lost. I called myself making a move on somebody who put it out there first, only to have my hand slapped and face cracked.
I was just recovering from this guy who I’ve crushed on for the longest (finally )asking me to call him, only to NEVER get a returned call and now this!
I’m dazed, confused and most of all lonely. Somebody, preferably a male, please explain.