Minneapolis. – Valerie Castile spent Thanksgiving among family and friends, but her son, her first-born, was not there. He will not be there for Christmas either.
The holidays are tough on Castile, a St. Louis native living in the Twin Cities. Each day can be a tough one for her. But despite the pain, she endures, trying to turn tragedy into triumph and ensuring the legacy of her son – Philando Castile – will endure far beyond the 32 years he existed on this plane.
Since the July 6, 2016 killing of Philando Castile by then-St. Anthony Police Officer Jeronimo Yanez, and the June 16 manslaughter acquittal of Yanez, Valarie Castile has been hard at work evaluating the nickname she gave her son.
“I always called him ‘King.’ He was always a king to me,” Castile told Insight News. “I was 26-years-old when I got pregnant with King, and before that, doctors told me I couldn’t have kids. So, to have him here on Earth, he was delivered to me by God.”
He was taken away in a hail of bullets. The world witnessed his last breaths, captured by Diamond Reynolds.
“I have to give credit to Diamond. She was supposed to be there to show the world how wicked this system can be,” said Valarie Castile.
Reynolds, Philando Castile’s girlfriend, livestreamed to Facebook the immediate aftermath of his being shot.
“That video saved that girl’s life and her baby’s life,” said Valarie Castile. “I tell you it did. He (Yanez) stuck his gun in that car and shot with no regard for human life.”
Reynolds and her 4-year-old daughter were both passengers of Philando Castile that fateful night when he was pulled over in Falcon Heights, just steps from the Minnesota State Fairgrounds, supposedly for a broken taillight and because his “wide set nose” resembled a description of a suspect. It was the 53rd time he was pulled over by police.
“All the time he was getting pulled over, I was the one getting infuriated,” his mother said. “He was always calm. He was the one like, ‘Mom, it will be OK.’ I can only imagine when he got pulled over (by Yanez) that he was like, ‘Hey, this is the routine. I give them my ID and I go about my way.’”
This time, he didn’t get to go about his way. Yanez unloaded seven shots into the car, killing Philando Castile after Castile volunteered to Yanez that he was legally in possession of a firearm.
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, there are five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. During the Insight News interview, Valarie Castile floated between three of them.
She is well aware that her son was taken from her, thus she has moved past denial. Not once did she allude to any instance of bargaining. Anger? Absolutely. Depression? Tears trickled down Valarie Castile’s cheeks at multiple times as we spoke. Acceptance? That is a tricky one.
How does one truly accept the loss of a child? Yes, she has accepted that her days will continue on with the memories of her son, but does not accept not hearing his voice, not seeing his smile, not feeling his touch. And how does one accept the fact that the person responsible for the death of a beloved son was not brought to justice?
“That trial was a sham. It was pitiful,” said Valarie Castile. “When that jury came back not-guilty, I was victimized again that day. That trial was an illusion. It was strictly for show.”
Now Valarie Castile is working every day to exalt the legacy of Philando Castile, a beloved figure in the St. Paul Public Schools. She formed the Philando Castile Relief Foundation to help other victims of gun violence and to help others in need. The Philando Feed Fund also was established and has raised more than $80,000 to assist with providing meals to underprivileged students. As a food services worker for the district, Philando Castile would buy food for students who otherwise would have gone hungry.
Valarie Castile says she has a duty to work on her son’s behalf.
“Life is a journey, and everybody is here for a reason. We all have a destiny,” she said. “We all witnessed Philando’s destiny.”
Harry Colbert Jr., a native of St. Louis, is managing editor of Insight News in Minneapolis.
Republished with permission of Insight News.
