Domestic violence takes three beautiful souls: Rosey, Kaylen and Kaylee
“My sister was brutally beaten on February 20th and 12 days later it was announced that she and two of her children were dead. My sister did absolutely everything. She filed a report the same day she was beaten, she followed up with detectives and officers in charge of the case, but this was not enough to protect her. The last text that Rosey sent my mother and me was updating us that her estranged husband was still not in police custody. She was scared for her life and she had done absolutely everything right.”
These are the words of Roseanne “Rosey” McCulley’s youngest sister, Katharine “Kat” Ross, referring to Rosey McCulley, 34, Kayden Johnson, 13, and Kaylee Brooks, 6, killed by Roseanne’s estranged husband Bobby McCulley on March 4. He spared the life of Zora, his one year old daughter with McCulley, before taking his own life. Rosey’s mother is in court fighting to get custody of her only grandchild Zora.
Family, friends, elected officials, local agencies and organizations who support and advocate for victims of domestic violence, held a ‘Rally for Rosey’ on Saturday, March 13, in downtown Clayton, outside of the St. Louis County Courthouse, to pay tribute to Rosey, Kayden and Kaylee and shine a light on domestic violence.
A close friend of Rosey’s mother, Inez Ross, and fellow attorney, Michelle Sherod, moderated the program. Councilwomen Rita Days and Shaldona Webb welcomed family, friends, and everyone in attendance — most were clad in purple, the color of domestic violence awareness.
Former YMCA CEO Adrian Bracy implored, “If you ever think there’s an opportunity of domestic violence, you must get involved.”
Cynthia Bennet of the non-profit JADASA (Journey against domestic and sexual abuse) advised that when speaking with someone subjected to violence at home, “Don’t discriminate, don’t judge, don’t give your opinion,” she warned. “All it takes is an inch of doubt in their voice that’ll cause them to go back in their shell.”
Men were urged to take responsibility by Diamond Diva’s Empowerment Foundation’s Eddie Ross who remarked, “All eight of the women in my family have seen some form of domestic violence. They endured, they’re survivors… We all need to come to the table and look at this thing and get the proper training to help our women and children.” He said that many agencies working to stem domestic violence were here today because as a community we have to make a collective effort. He pleaded, “We are losing an entire family. We must stop this generational genocide, our family and kids, kids and grand kids, are losing their lives.”
Courtnee Williams, the first family member to speak, celebrated her sister Rosey’s individuality, “You all might notice I look a little kooky with my unicorn socks, but my sister is a unicorn.” She explained, “I mean glitter, magic, rainbows, if you know her, you know her and this is what she’s about… creative, loving, sassy. I mean that girl got a mouth for anything and anyone, and so I hate that we’re here for this and being a survivor myself. My sister was there for me.”
Williams explained her isolation, “I held back for an entire year because I was ashamed thinking I had done something wrong, that I had caused it myself and my sister told me, “No, you speak for yourself. You make sure that you stand up for yourself and if anything, you can help somebody else, you can help the next person, and it hurts that I wasn’t able to be able to share that with her. That I wasn’t able to help her, but we’re gonna help the next.”
Oluwatobie Aderibigbe “Valerie”, Rosey’s friend from Texas, spoke about Rosey’s refusal to be silent, “A lot of people wondered why she kept posting, why she wouldn’t keep her private life private because, no matter what, she wanted to reach somebody, get help to somebody.” Valerie added, “Here in St. Louis, all around, people know Rosey because of her bubbly personality. I’m not saying she was a sweetheart just because she was my friend, she really was.” Valerie also spoke affectionately of “Peanut”, Rosey’s daughter Kaylee, who was close to her own daughter and spent time with them in Texas.
Kat described her niece Kaylee as having inherited Rosey’s tenacity and reminisced about Kaylee’s grandmother Inez running down the street trying to keep up with her granddaughter, as soon as she learned to ride a bike.
“Kaylen was the protector,” Kat said. She spoke about the relationship her nephew had with his mom before Kaylee was born, “It was just he and his Rosey against the world. He knew when Rosey was in emotional pain and took that pain upon himself.“ She said, “My sister, my niece and my nephew were incredibly strong, kind and resilient; however, this did not stop evil from finding them.” Rosey’s father Quentin Williams spoke briefly at the end of the rally, but searingly, about listening to children when they say they don’t like a parent’s mate.
Rep. Cori Bush (D-Missouri) was picked up at the airport by her father and driven to the rally so that she could participate. Bush talked about her personal experience with domestic abuse. She said that she was ready with trash bags when her father came to pick her up and help her escape, and referred to him as “The only way I got out … after almost two years and almost losing my life three times.” She readily admitted there has not been enough focus on domestic violence by the U.S. Congress, because “It keeps happening,” insisting, “We have to do that work.”
In closing. Bush talked about the difficult work the whole community must do, including the families of perpetrators, “Let us look in our own homes, in our own circles, in our own networks and not allow it.” She gave an example of the kind of language that may cloak domestic violence in conversations: “We know Jessie has tendencies…” Bush urged, “Let’s call that thing out. Let’s offer therapy. Therapy works.” “I’m a product of the YWCA. Therapy works,” she repeated, proudly raised her hand and continued, “So let’s reach out. Let’s take care of our community.”
“Domestic violence has taken away three beautiful souls with so much beauty left to offer the world,” Kat surmised near the end of the program. She spoke unequivocally of her family’s response to the loss of Rosey, Kaylen and and Kaylee, “It has turned the world upside down. We have made the issue of domestic violence our cause. We will fight to empower others, to give them strength to not to have to live in fear. Everyone deserves to live a life with peace of mind, a feeling of security. Love should never hurt.”
If you or someone you know is faced with domestic violence, there are a wide range of local services available: https://www.startherestl.org/domestic-violence.html