Let me explain. See, the “Basement General” is the name that my second cousin gave to another second cousin of mine. She calls him that because he’s this short, self-righteous guy who lives in his grandmother’s basement and tries to call all of the shots.
Well, on Thanksgiving, when my brother and I arrived merrily at their home, my brother was asked to carve the turkey. Well, the Basement General wasn’t having that! He shot up from his post in the basement and demanded that my brother drop the knife. But my brother was raised to respect what his elders say, not some loud mouth, Sammity Sam-like varmint. The Basement General then marched into the family room and launched a war of words on his grandmother. My brother did everything in his heart to keep his Thanksgiving spirit intact until the Basement General retreated to his base. His grandmother then told my brother to go ahead and curve the turkey. He did, and we proceeded into the dining room where the rest of the Thanksgiving dinner was being served. We got a few more blasts from the Basement General, but we fired back with deaf ears. The moral of the story: Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks, not being so thankless that you end up being the laughing stock of a such a humanely-based holiday.