Pamela Anita Mary Davis never thought “in a million years” she would lose both her parents to kidney failure.
Tragically, it took less than a year for something that seemed so far-fetched to become her reality. Her journey of grief, depression, and anxiety inspired her to write a memoir for those facing some of life’s most difficult challenges.
Davis’ debut book ‘Resilience Found Me: A Memoir of Anxiety, Grief, and Passing the Crown’ addresses how to process grief, and rebuild your life after trauma.
“There’s so much going on in the world it’s important that we have a resource to help us,” Davis said.
Davis shares her first-hand experience of dealing with a tremendous loss, with a goal of helping others find the courage and strength it takes to face difficult emotions and feelings.
“It’s an uphill battle,” she said.
“I wanted to fill the book with spiritual inspiration and empowerment that will help those in need.”
Some of the key highlights are:
- Building resilience in the face of trauma is a six-step “Resilience Approach,” which teaches readers to acknowledge their pain, face their fears, and create a clear path forward.
- Managing anxiety and emotional strife uses practical tools such as journaling, spiritual growth exercises, and developing healthy support systems.
- Finding beauty and purpose through grief uses strategies for healing, including releasing control, staying present, and transforming loss into meaning.
Each chapter displays the writer’s pathway to mental wellness, and includes exercises designed to guide readers toward self-discovery.
“My book is relatable, tackling themes such as work-life challenges, familial loss, and overcoming self-doubt,” Davis said.
She hopes readers will see themselves in her story and gain new tools to help them when life seems unbearable.
Davis’ ‘College Through Anxiety’ chapter examines the pressure that many Black college students face for the first time in their lives. Davis was a first-generation college student who was attending the University of Missouri Columbia, and experienced mounting stress during her freshman year.
She lost an uncle, and then experienced a panic attack at his funeral.
At the time, she didn’t know what was occurring, but she remembers being unable to catch her breath. Davis was rushed to the hospital, and was fortunate to encounter a compassionate nurse who taught her breathing techniques to ease her anxiety.
According to the University of Michigan Public Health School’s annual Healthy Minds Study, about 44% of college students report symptoms of depression and 37% report experiencing anxiety. Many are dealing with both mental health concerns.
A report by the Journal of Adolescent Health–Mental Health Disparities Among Students of Color study shows about a third of college students — white, Black, Hispanic, and Asian — have felt “so depressed that they couldn’t function.”
White college students are almost twice as likely than Black students to seek help. The study also found that 46% of white college students sought mental health treatment compared to 23% of Asian students, 26% of Black students, and 33% of Latino students. The study shows the disparity in non-white counselors on campus.
A recent survey among college counseling center directors found that, while nearly half of U.S. college students are non-white, 72% of college counselors are white. Just 11% are Black, and Black students may have good reason to prefer to see Black counselors.
In January 2021, the American Psychiatric Association issued a public apology for perpetuating systemic racism in its treatment of Black people.
Davis overcame her college challenge and earned a B.S.in Healthcare Management in 2013. She would go on to earn master’s in healthcare administration from Webster University.
“I’ve since built a fulfilling career as a human resources specialist, focusing on areas like recruitment and placement, credentialing, and workers’ compensation,” she said.
In 2017, she founded Queen of Resilience, Inc., to assist other women and college students overcome mental health challenges “by empowering them through mentorship, professional development, and increased awareness.”
While Davis battled depression and anxiety after losing her parents, she found a path forward.
When the days of isolation started to pile up, she began journaling, starting each entry with ‘Dear God.’ Journaling became a tool to help her navigate her emotions and soon became her book.
“My book allowed me to ask myself ‘who is Pam?’ Davis said.
“I have so much resilience now that I didn’t know I had (after losing my parents.) Having that experience helped me become who I am today.”