There is no truer phrase when you apply it to so many of life’s relationships. It really hits close to home to so many people who are ‘Boo’d up.’ You know, people in relationships: new couples, long-term relationships and those who are married. For some, forever may not be long enough. For other, it’s a painful eternity.
“The “who” can look very different when we are seeking something meaningful versus a certain appearance.”
We are moving toward summer and all its beauty. We will soon be in the season of love, including weddings and all the wonderful trimmings that go along with them. I have been to more weddings than I can remember, and a bridesmaid for about eight of my close friends. I have also been a bride myself. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic with no apologies. I am in love with love. Aren’t we all to a certain point?
My parents were married for more than 50 years. They mirrored a splendid example of a couple who weathered good and tough times, shared their personal and professional accomplishments, raised five children, enjoyed their grandchildren, and were travel companions.
But, in the end, the wedding vow that eventually dissolved their marriage was “in sickness and in health” with the death of my mom.
Back to the forever thing. Every human being wants to find love and be loved. Hollywood has made billions of dollars on small and big screens from ‘rom-coms’ and television sitcoms where characters are on that endless journey to find “the one.”
A few of note: “Living Single,” “Sex and the City,” and, I cannot leave out the current Netflix hit “Bridgerton.”
Then there are what I call the unrealistic dating shows including “The Bachelor,” The Bachelorette,” and the wildly popular Netflix show “Love is Blind.”
We also can’t forget the beautiful love songs through the decades sung by Luther Van Dross, Whitney Houston, D’Angelo, and more. There are too many to mention. The lyrics shared love and heartache.
In real life, it is finding love that is the challenging part. COVID-19 has not made it any easier. Pre-pandemic you either relied on friends, family or dating apps to find a mate. When we were in full pandemic mode, those dating apps really took off.
People couldn’t go anywhere, so Zoom dates were all the rage. Then, when people eventually started venturing out, they often found themselves initially not asking a date what they do for a living. Instead, it was “are you vaxxed and boosted?”
I reached out to one of the top dating companies in the world, Match.com, to get their take on dating in our 21st century. Full disclosure, I have had many friends find love on Match.com, and several have gotten married. Have some of you found yourselves a little rusty getting back out there?
Rachel DeAlto, Match chief dating expert, has some insight.
“There is definitely a bit of re-entry trepidation for those who have become used to dating only virtually! The good news is it’s a bit like riding a bike and getting back out there can help us realize we are still capable of dating in the real world,” she wrote in an e-mail.
As we all get older, I would like to think we have a better sense of ourselves. I have friends who are perfectly fine not having a mate and have etched out a life happily single. I also have friends who will always have a mate. While well meaning, try to refrain from asking when they are going to start dating…again.
However, if you are ready to take the leap, DeAlto beautifully sums it up.
“Define what you want, not who you want. Many singles have a very clear idea of the person they are looking to date, and it can interfere with the right person becoming your person,” she wrote.
“How do you want to feel in your relationship? What do you want your life to look like together? The “who” can look very different when we are seeking something meaningful versus a certain appearance.”
So, if you are looking for your person, buy yourself some flowers, enjoy the journey. It will be a beautiful ride.
Kelly Jackson anchors the news on KSDK, Five on Your Side, co-hosts “McGraw Live” on The Big 550 KTRS, and hosts and produces the web series “How My Pet Lives.”
