Part of a year-long series, presented by The American and the Brown School at Washington University, on changing the narratives and outcomes of young black males in St. Louis.
My parents migrated to St. Louis from Aberdeen, Mississippi, expecting to build a good life for us. A year later, Daddy left us. He sent us Easter clothes and trunks full of toys during Christmas. He was not present and involved, but he sent packages!
When I was 10, one Saturday after working her second job Momma said, “Son, your father is not returning. I expect you to help the family by working, bringing money in the house and protecting your sisters and brothers.” I said, “Okay, Momma.”
I took odd jobs that consisted of getting groceries, transporting dry cleaning, and shining shoes for neighbors. I brought my few dollars to Momma and we split them 50/50. That was the beginning of being self-sufficient, responsible, and fulfilling expectations.
We eventually moved into the Pruitt-Igoe housing projects. There were 33 11-story high-rise towers, 2,870 apartments and 10,000 residents on 57 acres. Blacks and whites were jammed together, sharing a community in spite of racial biases. Without the constant fear of drugs, violence and gunfire, we played outside all day long until the adults started separating us, imparting their racial beliefs on us children.
Around the age of 13, it became difficult for white and black kids to play together. I attribute that to cultural differences and the violent race-based events that erupted. The June 1963 assassination of Medgar Evers heightened the tension and emboldened local black citizens. The Jefferson Bank protests brought the realities to St. Louis two months later, as there were no black employees where we were depositing our money.
In the absence of my biological father, several men mentored me and provided rites of passage into manhood before I got married and became a father. My maternal grandfather, Mr. Arlegus Tate, taught me how to walk tall as man; he instilled work ethic and moral character. Deacon Hill’s strength was his duty to family and church.
Mr. Ernest E. Jordan Jr. became our Pops, eventually marrying Momma after years of dating. Pops brought his respectable character, quick wit, and vast knowledge from life experiences and military service. He spent quality time with me, attended school programs, got me a job at the Big 4 Barbershop on Page Boulevard and enhanced my love for jazz music.
I graduated from Providence High School, where I played violin, while working weekends. Mr. Robinson, his wife and five children lived across the hall. He modeled family leadership and worked at McDonnell Douglas Aircraft in avionics. I later worked as a lab technician at McDonnell Douglas after an honorable discharge from the U. S. Air Force.
Fulfilling expectations means adapting. When I lost my job at McDonnell Douglas after 12 years because of bias, I had to adapt.
I was a husband and father who had graduated from college and was unemployed when I was spotted by a New York agent who suggested I become a professional model. Completely unexpected, the occupation provided money for our home, our daughters’ needs, investments, a car, and the opportunity to teach young men to model. I wrote “The Personal Development Program” and began presenting workshops to community centers and agencies.
I then met Mr. Halbert Sullivan, CEO of Fathers’ Support Center (FSC), and began working with him for the next 18 years, mentoring men to support the well-being of their children. Later I became an advocate, working with legislators to write bills to impact responsible fatherhood. In 2002, I founded Fathers United to Raise Awareness (FUTRA). FSC and FUTRA attended hearings leading to the historic passage of SB 140 and SB 141.
SB 140 changed state law regarding criminal nonsupport, whereby the courts that deal with nonsupport cases (child support) can assign non-violent offenders to educational, vocational, or substance abuse programs. The defendants can have their criminal penalties reduced, dismissed or modified, if they complete the court-ordered programs and make child support payments.
SB 141 requires that a man presumed to be a father of a child must be notified of any civil proceedings used to determine paternity and inform him of his rights to contest the assumption and request a genetic test to determine his paternity, thereby possibly removing a debt burden from a man who is not the parent.
In 2016, FSC and FUTRA testified for SB 964, which supported HB 1550. This legislation, which encourages state courts to award shared parenting when both parents are fit and there has been no domestic violence, became law in Missouri. FUTRA provides fathers with a voice and acts on changes needed in our community.
Currently, I volunteer and work for Saint Louis Public Schools as a way of fulfilling expectations. We all have a duty to nurture our children and end the self-inflicted genocide of young people.
Chester A. Deanes Jr. is president/CEO of Fathers United to Raise Awareness (FUTRA), the father of two adult daughters with four grandchildren, a U.S. Air Force veteran, and member of Union Memorial United Methodist Church.
“Homegrown Black Males” is a partnership between HomeGrown STL at the Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis and The St. Louis American, edited by Sean Joe, Benjamin E. Youngdahl Professor and associate dean at the Brown School, and Chris King, managing editor of The American, in memory of Michael Brown.
