Many absent fathers are “dead broke,” not “deadbeat.”
A St. Louis dad turned his life around by working, attending school and financially supporting his children, creating a better relationship with his kids and their mothers.
A Venice, Illinois dad received the counseling and spiritual support needed to raise his three-year old as a full-time single father.
What the two men have in common: both benefited from organizations supported by the Greater Saint Louis Community Foundation’s Fatherhood Initiative.
The Fatherhood Initiative was designed to support and enhance the work of area nonprofit organizations that are committed to the role fathers place as assets in the lives of area children and families.
“The Fatherhood Initiative demonstrated that only modest steps are needed to greatly enhance the impact of absent fathers in the lives of their children,” said David R. Luckes, president and CEO of GSLCF.
“We focused $600,000 over three years to better understand the link between a father’s engagement with the family and the resulting stability of that family. We identified two critical areas to help fathers succeed as parents and support their families: achieving economic stability and gaining valuable parenting skills.”
Many men assisted by the organizations are low-income, non-custodial or non-residential fathers. Through the organizations, dads received counseling or gained parenting, communication or job readiness skills. Other fathers were unemployed or were putting their lives back together after incarceration.
A 24-year-old felony conviction hindered Scott Merriweather’s ability to find stable employment. That, along with what he described as “heavy drug use, lack of goals and living a reckless life” made him unable to provide for his children. Merriweather reversed his fate by connecting with a new job and with his children.
“At the point where I reached being sick and tired of being sick and tired, I sought help. I started working on my spiritual foundation and found my way to Employment Connection,” Merriweather said.
Within a few months, Merriweather started volunteering and eventually accepted employment there as a Fatherhood Initiative career specialist.
“From the very first paycheck I received, I began to provide financial support,” Merriweather said.
“That was three years ago. I am blessed and proud to say I have a healthy relationship with all of my children. I am active in every aspect of their lives. The relationships with their mothers are civil, and we have a common goal to support each other in raising our children without the drama.”
Recipient organizations included the Employment Connection, Fathers’ Support Center, Near Southside Employment Coalition and Neighborhood Houses in St. Louis; Youths in Need in St. Charles Mo. and Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois in Belleville. Each received grants averaging $100,000 from the foundation.
The Metro East Fathers’ Center in Belleville is operated by LCFS of Illinois. Lawrence Davis, now 61, sought help at the center a few years ago to work through anger about family issues and to establish a relationship with his soon-to-be-born youngest child.
“Through the Fathers’ Center, I also got help with paralegal services as well as spiritual counseling,” Davis said. “I went down there for about six months or so. I kind of like filed my own petition to establish a parent-child relationship.”
Davis also credits his church for helping him through the difficult time. He successfully gained full custody of his son MaKail, who is now an active 3-year-old who attending the Head Start program in Venice, Illinois. Davis also earned the 2006 Father of the Year award from the Fathers’ Center.
Davis and Merriweather are two of than 1,000 St. Louis area fathers served over the course of the Fatherhood Initiative, which benefited more than 2,000 children.
The private philanthropic foundation’s final report highlighted outcomes of the three-year initiative in a report, “Fathers – A Missing Piece of the Puzzle.” It calls on social and human service community and policy makers to stop perpetuating the “deadbeat” dad portrayals and to develop policies and programs that are more “father-friendly” and inclusive to dads as part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
With the final report came the announcement of a new $30,000 grant to the United Way of Greater St. Louis to begin implementing successes from the Fatherhood Initiative. The United way will develop and implement a toolkit for use by health and human service organizations.
“Engaging fathers has proven so effective in the St. Louis initiative because fathers genuinely want to provide child support to their kids,” said Dr. Ronald Mincy, professor at Columbia University School of Social Work and the Director of the Center for Research on Fathers, Children, and Family Well-Being.
“Children whose fathers remain involved economically and emotionally are more successful in school and are significantly more likely to avoid high-risk behaviors like drug use, truancy and criminal activity.”
The foundation credits research by Mincy as the groundwork it built upon with the Fatherhood Initiative.