I can remember that night like it was yesterday. How he touched me. How he tried to get me to come into his room. How he left me feeling worthless and guilty.
I remember lying on the bottom bunk weeping, praying and hoping he wouldn’t dare come into the room. I shivered laying there; my body was cold. I was a victim in my own skin not knowing if there was a God who actually cared enough for me, His child.
“God,” I cried out. “How could you let this happen to me? I’m just a child.”
But even in that moment where I was confused, scared and hated God, I also knew I needed Him the most.
I felt like my future had fallen apart. I walked around the world with my head held low because there was nothing worth seeing. Night after night, I cried because my dreams haunted me. So often I wanted to die so that I wouldn’t have to deal with my past or face my future, but God had other plans for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Though I couldn’t see Him, I felt Him; I began to hear Him and when I felt all alone, He was right beside me.
God didn’t allow me to go through my situation because He was trying to punish me, but He allowed me to go through it to show me that He is still God, and no matter what I go through He is there holding me, molding me and shaping me into the person that He wants me to be.
I learned to forgive the person who harmed me. I didn’t do it for the other person, but I did it for me, just like Christ has forgiven each and every one of us.
One thing I always tell others is to trust God and believe in Him, because with Him is the only way you will get through your situation. I guarantee it.
Because of my relationship with Christ, and really leaning and meditating on His word and being prayerful is the only reason that I am in the place that I am today.
I am Free. To God be the glory.
