Dear Gwendolyn:
I have never written to anyone about my situation, but now feel I should write to you for advice and spiritual counseling. Here’s my story:
Twenty years ago I had a friend whom I could talk to about anything. He did not criticize or try to destroy me in any way. He would always tell people I had a sensitive heart without an ounce of bitterness.
However, after dating for five years, we split up … you know…separated and took our lives in a different direction. Since that time I have become saved. Last year the person who had put us together 20 years ago saw my friend and brought him to my house as a surprise.
We started dating again, but he has changed so much until I feel I should leave the relationship again. I recently sent him a letter explaining that the relationship can only continue if he is saved, single, secure n financially of course. Also, he is a different man now. He needs to go back and find his charming ways and attitude that he had 20 years ago.
Gwendolyn, should I stay? Or, should I leave the relationship again? I am 49 and want to get married.
Joan
Dear Joan:
There is nothing wrong with getting married as long as you don’t marry this man. Let me tell you this: People change. Twenty years ago you were not saved and apparently he was not saved. But now that the two of you are back together again, there is a 100% chance he will not go back and become that individual who was charming and nice. No way…so don’t even go there.
Think about it. If you waited 15 years to date again, then you can wait a little longer. You need to involve yourself with someone new. I have a bad feeling about your situation. You no longer know this man and he no longer knows you. Often when thoughts of ‘doubt’ come to mind, they are — warning signals.
***Don’t solve your problem alone, write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066 (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com