“Men actually group women into three categories during the dating process,” said author and therapist Jack A. Daniels.
Are you the freak, the friend or the forever?
On Saturday afternoon, Daniels will let women know where they stand as part of a two-day event presented by Wine & Wisdom this weekend (Friday and Saturday) at the Sheraton Hotel in Clayton.
The categories are pretty self-explanatory. The freak is the booty-call, the friend is the shoulder to cry on and the forever is the perfect combination of both that ends happily ever after.
“The problem is you have women who think they are forever, but they are really the freak,” Daniels said. “And there are a lot of guys who are just not being honest with which category they are placing these women into.”
Men lie to women – but women also lie to themselves.
“Having unrealistic expectations is the biggest mistake that women have and this is due to family, friends and fantasy,” Daniels said.
“When you buy into that dream you have to be able to discern whether it is true or ‘I am making this up in my mind.’ I’ve been meeting with a woman client who wanted to identify if she was wasting her time with a particular man, and I told her, ‘Yes, you are!’ They’ve talked on the phone for three weeks and he hasn’t asked her out on a date yet. What is this, middle school?”
His client is probably the friend, still a better position to be in than the freak.
“Ideally, a woman wants to be all three,” Daniels said. “Men are looking for all three, but you’re not going to be all three unless he marries you. If you are saying you are all three and you ain’t got a ring, something’s wrong with the picture.”
Daniels’ presentation, drawn from his latest book I Need A Wife: Where are The Real Women?, will offering a taste of the male perspective on the dating game.
“I think the solution is through men,” Daniels said. “I want to be a beacon of light and separate myself as far as being able to talk to men, and not just playing to this audience of women who are thirsty and hungry.”
He interviewed more than 1,000 men on the topic of relationships for I Need A Wife, giving the brothers an outlet to express themselves and presenting women with a glimpse of what men are really thinking and feeling in intimate relationships.
“It’s really us men who need to get our stuff together in order to better our community,” he said. “If we fix our relationships, we fix our families. If we fix our families, we fix our communities. If we fix our communities, black people can take over the world.”
A licensed therapist who lived in St. Louis for seven years before relocating to Atlanta, he’s excited to return to the place where he laid the foundation for five books, contributing spots on major news networks and a counseling role for several celebrity and high-profile clients.
“I want to provide practical strategies to let people know what it takes to get the relationships that they want and to not keep making the same mistakes over and over again – or keep getting the same people in your life over and over again,” Daniels said.
“I would really love to help some people in St. Louis stop chasing and start attracting the love that they deserve.”
Wine & Wisdom’s Taste of the Male Perspective will take place on Friday, May 31 at 5 p.m. with a panel discussion moderated by Brandi Harvey, daughter of Steve Harvey. Daniels’ presentation of Friend, Freak or Forever will take place on Saturday, June 1 at 3 p.m. Both events will be held at the Sheraton Clayton Plaza, 7730 Bonhomme Ave. For more information, call (314) 649-8609.
