Swagger: noun; see also savoir-faire; carrying oneself with an air of non-arrogant confidence; the epitome of sexy meets finesse.
A man’s swagger: That’s something I’ve been contemplating recently. I’ve been considering just how much that quality can make or break a man, particularly a black man. In some cases, it can mean the difference between leaving the party with the woman’s number (and a fake one to boot), and leaving with the woman.
To me swagger isn’t about a contrived act of “posing” – you know, strategically planning your look, your attitude, and your walk. It’s about a natural coolness, an “I’m the man” persona that few men can carry out flawlessly.
I consider myself a “swagger connoisseur” of sorts. I actually seek out opportunities to identify where it exists and where it is desperately needed. I like to observe brothers in their natural “swagger-habitat,” not unlike those guys you see on Animal Planet, sans the chance of being bitten by a venomous snake.
I have found that parties are obviously the best environments to do this, as its commonly the place where they feel compelled to bring their A-game swagger. This is where you’re going to see them putting what they feel is their best foot forward: their hottest ensemble, most high-end loafers, trendiest of accessories, which basically translates into unadulterated swagger for most.
It is when they try too hard that this becomes a hindrance. You always get those few posers who habitually ruin the vibe with their “everybody look at me” antics, akin to what one might see at a Ringling Brothers circus: loud and tacky, obnoxiously popping bottles in the VIP for all to see.
I prefer the brother who is more in the background than the foreground. He’s secure enough to let his personality and his attitude do the talking. He is content to just be seen without announcing himself. A man of this caliber will get my vote every time.
Take our own President Barack Obama, for instance, who has been dubbed a quintessential gentleman from the moment he embarked on the campaign trail. He is the epitome of what it is to embody the confidence, intelligence and easy sophistication sought after by many men. This kind of man who is refined, self-assured, eloquent and in control, unlike the latest fashion trend, never goes out of style.
More men need to learn the distinction between simply being noticed and being a spectacle. Discovering how to walk this fine line without error, albeit difficult, is necessary if you want to establish yourself as the type of man every man wants to be, versus the man trying to be someone they’re not.
Gentlemen, take note: Use your swagger wisely. In the wrong hands it’s a catastrophe waiting to happen, but in the proper hands, it can be a thing of beauty.