I couldn’t help but piggyback on Desiree’s topic of sex minus commitment and add another component that a small percentage of the ladies may or may not relate to (insert sarcastic side-eye).
Somewhere in the universe there is a woman in a similar situation of being propositioned with “commitment-free” sex. But instead of standing her ground and saying, “This is not what I signed up for,” she says, “You know what, I don’t have anything else going on, he’ll do for tonight.”
She does want commitment, but the man she’s decided to hook up with is by no means even on her radar as a potential for anything other than a temporary bed buddy.
“Guys do it all of the time,” she resolves in her mind. “Plus, he’s cute … and I need it. That doesn’t make me a slut … right? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Men do it all the time!”
HIV, herpes or a baby by a lightweight stranger are among the top three.
But right up there with that ungodly trifecta is that feeling once you run into the man you threw caution to the wind with. I don’t care what any girl says, if she goes for it she’s quietly hoping to NEVER see this man again. But she always does and it’s usually the worst, most awkward of encounters.
No matter what he says when you two meet in broad daylight, in your heart you feel like he’s coming at you like a common street trick.
“Hey, sexy,” the man says to you. Somebody else would see it as a compliment, but because of your history, you think to yourself, “Sexy …? We are in the grocery store, uggh. Why did I do this to myself?”
Because he essentially let you know the play (mostly non-verbal) and you were beyond compliant during your nightcap, he thinks everything is cool.
“I’ve been calling you,” he says. “Did you get your number changed or something?”
“Yes, I did,” you say.
No, you didn’t. And when you told that bald-faced lie you didn’t think about how you’ll have make up a fake number – one that will ring on command when he says, “Let me call you from it right now, so I can lock you in.”
You tell him that you’ve changed your number three times since you saw him last and you don’t remember it – and you left your phone at home. He asks if he can get at you on Facebook.
Just as you weasel your way out of the close encounter of the awkward kind by promising a Twitter direct message with your new phone number as he toys with his phone trying to erase the old contact number, your phone rings … it’s him.
Caught!
“Look, did I do something wrong?” he says, trying to make sense of your dust mission. “I thought things went great. I’m not trying to sweat you; I just want to figure out … I thought we were cool, that things were good. I’m not trying to be a lame, but I don’t know … what did I do?”
“Nothing,” she replies. It was the truth.
But seeing him reminds her of what she did. She knows she gave someone else the power – no, she didn’t; she took it from herself – to go against everything she believes in for the sake of a meaningless tryst.
It’s the pits. Despite what they say, most women aren’t built to deal with the aftermath of a one-night stand – even if they’ve built up a resistance.
“How do I tell him I don’t like him without feeling like a bad person?” she thinks to herself. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings, he might really like me.”
He doesn’t care. But he knows by acting like he does and getting YOU into YOUR feelings, he has a small window to transition casual sex into sympathy sex.
And as your emotional rollercoaster continues for a man you could truly care less about, he’s just along for the free ride.
