For the NNPA
Dear Gwendolyn:
I am 55 years old. My mother is 77, and my daughter is 35. This is my problem: My daughter is in need and my own mother won’t help. She has helped in years prior, but is refusing to come to our emergency this time.
At present, we are getting evicted. My daughter, her boyfriend, and two of his male friends live with me. The reason I allow that is because I don’t want to see my daughter homeless. I’m trying to be a mother who stands by her child as a mother should do.
The reason we are being evicted is because I had to pay for my daughter’s bail when she and her boyfriend got arrested for robbery. My mother says she is not stepping in this time and I think that is unfair. My daughter deserves another chance. My mother is all excited about going on a cruise with her senior friends. It is a trip she has planned for her entire adult life.
Gwendolyn, how can a grandmother forsake her grandchild and go on a trip? I am standing by my daughter. So, why can’t she stand by me?
Angeline
Dear Angeline:
You say that your mother has come to your rescue before. Why in the world would you expect your mother to give up her trip at her age to once again bail out a granddaughter – who is not trying? No, she is not trying and don’t try to convince me she is.
Let me tell you this: People have a choice to make the best decisions they can. Your daughter is not the only one with a problem – and your mother knows that. I thought you would never stop calling the people who live with you. Think about it. It makes no sense for your daughter to live there with her boyfriend and for her boyfriend to have two of his male friends living there as well.
The country is going broke financing free or reduced housing for people like you. Bailing your daughter out of jail does not help her situation. As I mentioned, she (and all these other drug addicts) had a choice. I am reminded of something elderly people used to say. That is, “If you make your bed hard – you will have to lay in it.”
***Got a problem? Don’t solve it alone. All you have to do is “Ask Gwendolyn Baines.” Write to her at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, NC 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a self-addressed, stamped envelope) or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com