I have not seen my mother in fifteen years!
Dear Gwendolyn:
I know you hear of many sad things, and my story is truly one of those cases. I moved to the big city when I was in my 20s. Now I am 50. Three years into my marriage I got pregnant. I had a job as an office manager at a state university and had to quit it. My husband did not want our son to be in daycare. After quitting my job, it became apparent he did not earn an income to support the family. Therefore, I learned to sacrifice. I would save on groceries, stay at home without transportation, and gave up all other needs. My husband’s entire family lives in our city.
After being married for 10 years, I went to visit my parents. I stayed for two weeks. While there, my husband called constantly asking, “When do you plan to return?”
Gwendolyn, my father died 16 years ago and it has now been 15 years since I have seen my mother. Each year my husband would tell me we could not afford it. It hurts me because he sees his mother…
Rachel
Dear Rachel:
And you can see yours. You have made the mistake many children make. It is not like being in a foreign country. But even those who become stranded on foreign soil seek financial assistance to go home. People who never give a dime to a stranger will give money to help a child go home. You, again like many married women, have allowed your husband to dominate your life and Rachel, that’s bad. It is amazing how a man wants his wife to cling to his family while forgetting hers.
In fifteen years you could have taken a job because if you are 50, then your child reached adulthood some years ago. This is puzzling to me. Even if your husband said no, what about your child? He could have given you money to go.
How could you go so long? Try organizations and churches and let them know that you want to go home. Mother’s Day is soon approaching and you need to work fast towards this endeavor. And when you go, stay for a month or two. It’s not like you have to rush back to a job. If you think you feel badly now, just think if she had passed away.
Go home Rachel while you can. You know what…once your mother is gone, you will experience a feeling that is strange – a feeling of knowing that — you can never go home again.
***Got a problem? Ask Gwendolyn Baines. Write to her at: P. O. Box 78246, Nashville, TN 37207-8246 or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: www.gwendolynbaines.com