Christmas is a lonely time for me!
By Gwendolyn Baines
NNPA Columnist
Dear Gwendolyn:
I was married for 40 years. The marriage was rated as just okay. At the beginning, I experienced verbal and mental abuse. We even separated for about a year. Then, he changed and accepted his commitment and made me happy. He passed away two years ago and I miss him dearly. He kept me company and kept me from being lonely. Every Christmas we would put up a tree with all the trimmings (lights and glitter). Gwendolyn, I am tired of being lonesome. Are there any older men out there looking for an older woman? I just don’t want to be lonely the rest of my life. I heard men are looking for women 48 – 50. That means that if a woman is in her late 60s is out of luck. I believe my children want me to be happy. However, it would be hard for them to accept a new man in my life. I just want someone to talk to like a companion. Where do you think I can look? I go to church, senior groups, and I pray. Maybe Santa Claus will bring me one. Do you think I’m asking too much?
Bernice
Dear Bernice:
Yes, I do, especially if you think Santa is going to bring him. The love you have for your husband may never go away, and actually it shouldn’t. But the realization that he is gone, never to return, has not quite made its way to your acceptance. You state that you are looking for a companion. I was glad to hear that because you may not need to remarry. In fact, Bernice, marriage would be where your children would express concern. There are so many widows of your age who lose everything they have. Also, don’t voice openly that you are even looking for a companion. What you fail to realize is that companions can be money seekers, too. Go shopping and purchase Christmas items like a small artificial tree and cheap holiday decorations. After that make or purchase a holiday drink such as Egg Nog or something else to your taste. Let me tell you this: There’s nothing wrong with being alone. You have adapted to the myth that being alone is being lonely. Bernice, think about it. Santa brings toys for tots and not men for little old ladies. You sound sad and you probably look sad. That’s why you are not meeting someone. It’s not your age, it’s your thinking. As soon as you put some cheer into your life, bells will jingle and — Rudolph’s nose will stay red.