“Listen to this…”
There is no “hey, girl” or “long time, no talk” to be found from a friend who I hadn’t heard from in months. I basically get a “cue the tape.”
The voicemail kicks in, and it is nothing short of appalling as this anonymous (to us, at least) woman rambles on and on about how she is in love with the woman playing the voicemail’s man.
“Baby, I’m standing here looking in the mirror, and I see things about my body that I want to improve for you. I love you that much.”
With every pause in the seemingly never-ending voicemail, my friend adds her own special commentary. None of it is appropriate for this column – or anything without a parental advisory sticker.
“No relationship is perfect and no person is perfect, but I find myself – over and over again – thinking about how I can make myself a better woman…mentally, physically and emotionally…for you.”
She went on and on about how no relationship was without problems, but theirs is worth fighting for and growing towards.
“Girl, you’d think this [expletive] ‘bout to break out into a thirsty rendition of ‘Dangerously in Love.’ This [expletive] is pathetic. You can hear it in her voice.”
The line above was about the most PG-13 I could muster up from the entire hilarious play-by-play.
She was stunned to learn that after nearly 10 years in a relationship – and not too long out of the maternity ward, I might add – her man was/is involved with someone else. As a matter of fact, the message saved in his inbox was recorded as she entered her last trimester of pregnancy.
“How did you get this message?” I asked.
I already figured she was on a hack mission, but thought it was only polite to ask before assuming.
In all fairness to her, she paid the phone bill (which is another Black & Single altogether), so she could easily maneuver through the logistics of breaking into his inbox.
I could tell she was totally let down because I didn’t have more fuel to lend to the situation – mainly because I was the biggest opponent of their relationship.
But here I was, equipped with some ammo to say, “I told you before you started having babies with this fool” and any other weapon of my choice, but I was uncharacteristically silent.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I was too disappointed with the manner of how she got the irrefutable evidence of his infidelities to co-sign on his lousiness. I expected much more from her.
They were having problems, and he was exhibiting all of the normal behaviors of a man leading a double life. She had everything she needed to know to justify walking away – even before she discovered he’d been saving what sounded like a poetic ode a la Love Jones inside a cell phone account that SHE PAYS FOR.
She agreed to the terms that this would be his phone, so her paying for it is just another tragic technicality in their situation.
By doing what she did on the unlawful phone entry, she actually gave him the upper hand. He was now provided a loophole to make folks sympathetic to him for seeking “outside comfort” from a possessive, smothery woman with stalker-like tendencies.
As a matter of fact, he broke up with her after the incident.
And I could tell he affected her with the line “[expletive] like this is exactly what got us to where we are.”
My phone call from her was probably a campaign for empathy. But that, I couldn’t do.
The voicemail reveals that he had this other woman before the thought to go to this extreme even crossed her mind.
I know plenty want to know with unreasonable doubt that their man is on a sideline tip before they call it quits. But if you have to go through the trouble of crossing the line from concerned to borderline criminal, shouldn’t you just assume your relationship is a wrap anyway?