Have you ever wondered why the logic we learn and apply to ALL OTHER ASPECTS of our lives is null and void when we are determined to love up on somebody?
There have been so many times when if I had enforced the same rules that are in place in the simplest, most insignificant areas, like making myself wash the dishes and take out the trash, I would be so much better off in my personal life.
Well, I’ll tell you why. Love, more specifically the romanticized idea of love, is a straight up addiction!
People look at drug addicts sideways for getting a hit by any means necessary. But be honest about it. We have done some ridiculous – I’ll even go so far as to say scandalous – activity for the sake of a man or woman.
We judge addicts, even laugh at and patronize them on that A&E show Intervention. How quickly we forget that it is never the intention of these once ordinary, productive citizens to lose everything (and everybody) for the sake of a controlled substance.
Once they get hooked, it’s game over, and the same can be said about some of us and love, even though most won’t say it out loud.
Plenty of the petty things that addicts do pale in comparison to the crimes of the heart we commit against others and ourselves.
Think about it, you’ll be upset about it and it’s an inconvenience, but you can get some new tags on your car.
But the guilt you impose on yourself and the home-wrecking potential that takes place when you decide to aid somebody in infidelity never goes away.
I’m not making light of any of the illegal activities that go down for the sake of crack. However, we tend to downplay our “lovehead” activities.
Some of the prayer chains/interventions/tough love strategies that we map out for aunt and uncle so-and-so need to be modified to our addiction when we are out on the prowl tryin’ to get a hit of love.
I won’t say that I’ve done it all, but the majority of my resume of foolishness can be charged to the game of trying to find or keep a man.
I’m not bragging. Actually, I’m disappointed in myself for letting love get the better of me on more than one occasion.
I’ve wasted money, cheated (by doing someone else’s work for them) in school, forsaken friends and – last but definitely not least – was the victim of identity theft from dealing with a man, just to say that I had one.
The identity theft incident was my wake up call. But it didn’t even have to make it that far. The signs of his recklessness were there way before the crime went down, but I didn’t take out the trash (get it). I was addicted.
Say what you want about my little list, but I am one of the lucky ones. Plenty of sisters and brothers have lost cars, credit, homes, peace of mind and their health for a piece of man or woman. And that’s not even touching upon when things get ugly – and by ugly, I mean violent.
We got that one hit (possible pun intended), and it was a wrap for rhyme AND reason.
How many of us have compromised or simply laid down (more pun possibility) our morals or personal polices just because we felt like it was the only way to keep from going the lonely way?
Well, I’m not ashamed to say so. I think when we all step up and say that we’ve been stuck on stupid for him or her, we will win the war on love.
So … Hi, my name is Kenya and I’m a love-aholic, I’ve been sober for three hours and forty-seven minutes. And I’m taking it one day at a time.
