The current picture of black love represented on television is void of loyalty, commitment, respect, sacrifice and honesty.
It doesn’t help that a new reality show embodies common stereotypes about black men and women in romantic relationships, along with the idea that marriage in the black community is in danger.
The debut of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta paints a frustrating and anger-provoking depiction of what it is like when a black man and woman are together.
In the show, we painfully watch as Mimi Faust, the girlfriend of Stevie J, and mother of his daughter, pushes him to admit that he is involved with his artist, Joseline Hernandez. He avoids her suspicions repeatedly, and tells her what she wants to hear so she will drop the issue.
Although the focus is often on Mimi and how she deals with Stevie J’s games, she isn’t the only one dealing with such matters.
Erica Dixon, the on again/off again girlfriend and mother of Lil Scrappy’s daughter, deals with the fact that he had a public affair with a female rapper. She also has to deal with his overbearing mother, who gives her unwelcome advice about their problems.
Then there is Rasheeda, a hip-hop artist whose manager is her husband. She occasionally has an attitude when provided with criticism from her husband, is bossy, foul mouthed and aggressive. Next is singer, songwriter and musician K. Michelle, who shares that she was beaten by an ex-boyfriend, who was also her manager.
The characters in this show not only represent stereotypes of black women as domineering or willing to do anything or accept mistreatment for material possessions, but men are also typecast.
Common depictions or ideas of black men are that they are lazy, physically aggressive, conceive many children out of wedlock with several different women, neglect their children’s financial, emotional and spiritual needs, have an uncontrollable sex drive, are “players” and have spent time in jail.
If black men and women accept the stereotypes present in society about one another, a romantic relationship between them is in trouble. They will expect these traits, attitudes and behaviors, which makes it very difficult to have a healthy, loyal relationship with mutual respect and commitment. Neither will trust the other.
In some way, each of the relationships in Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta are dysfunctional, full of unhappiness and lack security.
My issue is that most black relationships on TV are defined within the confines of the entertainment and sports worlds. What about those who are regular citizens, who build organizations together, work to uplift people or dedicate their lives to serving others?
For producers, and some viewers, this wouldn’t create profits or be interesting television to watch. Why can’t we be curious about the lives of positive role models and respectable people?
Are decency, morals and goodwill values of the past? Is it human nature to feed off of negativity, or is this due to the influence of TV and the media, when they focus on stories that are absurd and scandalous?
I would say it is a combination of both. Some crave the need to feel important and “better” than others, and they are constantly provided with the opportunity to do so when they watch the characters’ lives unravel during the show.
Society, and particularly the black community, need to realize that self-esteem built in this manner is short-lived, as we watch other black citizens self destruct before our eyes. It is depressing to watch, and sad that some choose this over uplifting programs. Changing this pattern requires us to stand up for more accurate depictions of who we are, those that will make us proud to be black in America.
