Two years ago actor, comedian and radio host Steve Harvey was probably the last person anyone suspected would tune into the outcries of Single Black Females and create yet another career as a best-selling author and “Get a Man” Guru. But that’s exactly what happened.
Armed with information from callers and the experience of three marriages, Harvey penned Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, a written guide for women that was the subject of book clubs, television shows, magazines and more.
He said himself he was not a relationship expert, only an expert on how men think. But as the first man to step forward and spill strategy suggestions for “Single Ladies” to find the man of their dreams, among books and columns written based on assumptions offered by (more than likely single) women, his perspective was welcomed with high praise.
Harvey says that the overwhelming response to Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man compelled him to create a follow-up that answers questions and offers advice based on the nonstop feedback that has come his way since its release. Straight Talk, No Chaser, which hit bookshelves two weeks ago, was the end result.
With Straight Talk, Harvey presents yet another career transition for himself – as an aggressive, no-holds barred salesman.
While the book is pitched as a guide to “find, keep and understand a man,” the blatant attempt to remind readers about the first book is more than a bit off-putting. “As I said in Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man,” Harvey writes, over and over again.
Once the reader gets beyond the unabashed attempts to subliminally impose the idea of purchasing Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Harvey’s honesty regarding the reality of what makes a man tick is commendable – yet disappointing as he breaks down what really motivates men to work towards building a relationship.
“What makes a man happy?” a reader asks Harvey at the end of the book in a segment called “Ask Steve.” Harvey responds, “The cookie.”
According to Harvey, “The cookie” – a term commonly used in 1970s blaxploitation films to refer to sex – is the single most important motivator for men. “There’s nothing on the planet that makes a man feel better than sex,” Harvey says to his women readers.
But in the same breath, he says that that women must distribute our treats with caution in order to allow the natural progression of a relationship. Harvey imposes the idea of women developing a 90-day “cookie” lay-a-way plan so that the man has time to develop feelings and explore the possibility of a long-term relationship with the woman, versus a fling.
Just like his words of wisdom regarding the “cookie,” plenty of what Harvey presents to the reader through Straight Talk is a reiteration of what has been passed down to single women time and time again. Harvey just has the privilege of preaching from the standpoint of a man.
From personal appearance, nagging, compliments to compromising, Harvey offers plenty of remixes of age-old advice for “how to keep your man happy.”
The unfortunate fact is, just like his dated nickname for sex, Harvey reiterates the amount of effort that must be applied from the woman during the initial stages of the relationship without really acknowledging the shift in the paradigm of the playing field.
Certain things that are common experiences – like dating in the midst of “baby mama/baby daddy drama” or the single black female surplus – are never addressed.
And the notion of keeping “the cookie” under lock and key is expressed with attention to detail, but the idea of a man outsourcing his need for it – a need that Harvey himself says supersedes nearly everything else with respect to a man’s happiness – while the woman stands her ground is missing.
Another element that is skated over, which would have been of supreme interest, was a Straight Talk about Harvey’s own love losses.
Harvey presents his position as a man who has won at the art of love and marriage, and any issues that led to his divorces and infidelity are beside the point. But the events leading up to his actions may have been more useful than the somewhat preachy and grandiose tone he presents as a man who has love all figured out and treats his third wife accordingly.
