The world is heavy. Our ball of dust spiraling around a flaming orb maybe holding its own when we plug in the concept of gravity, yet according to a popular encyclopedia website the planet Earth actually weighs 5.9742 × 1024 kg.
English translation: A lot
Here lately with a sagging (sagging?, no lets put it all on the table and say: deflated) economy, job losses and general sense that the whole world is carrying around a proverbial box of rocks, let’s say we lighten things up a bit.
So what do you get when you combine etiquette with the encyclopedia?
Answer: manners + rarely needed useful information = etiquette trivia!
Rules: 10 questions, 1 point per question. Double points if you know the details (this means you have read previous columns). No calling a friend or seeking an archive for help. Lucky 13 points is crowned Mannerisms Lady / Gentleman of the month. Here goes!
Question 1: As a guest, when ordering from a restaurant menu you should: a) order drinks and the lobster; b) ask who is paying before you order; c) order from the middle of the menu.
Question 2: As a guest in someone’s home, you should: a) catch up on your laundry; b) go with flow; c) feel free to bring your dog “Prince Fluffy” to play with their cat.
Question 3: When on a cell phone in public place you should: a) assume nobody is listening; b) assume everyone wants to know your business; c) assume nobody wants to know your business.
Question 4: When you receive a gift, a thank you note includes: a) regrets that you already have the item; b) acknowledgement within one week; c) mention how you loved the conch shell vase with the double openings.
Question 5: When introducing yourself you should: a) look the person in the eye; b) give a kung-fu grip; c) shake hands like you are getting water from a pump.
Question 6: Great-Grandma Madolena considered bad manners: a) an infectious disease; b) a pill; c) cured by a stern flick of the eye.
Question 7: If Deon the unruly nephew crosses your path, you: a) Trip him; b) Ignore him; c) Assume its naptime.
Question 8: If a friend says something uncouth, you could: a) back-peddle quickly and apologize for him; b) find a broom! sweep it under a rug by ignoring the comment; c) clean it up, say, “Mary dear, I know you didn’t mean it that way, anyway how was the vacation?”
Question 9: You say something inconsiderate, you: a) back-peddle quickly, and apologize; b) swallow deep and ignore it; c) adjust your medication.
Question 10: What comes first, the chicken or the egg? a) the chicken, it makes the egg; b) the egg, it makes a chicken; c) the rooster, but it lets the chicken go first then struts its stuff like doesn’t have a care in the world!
Lets all follow the rooster’s example: lighten-up and let some one else go first.
Answers – 1:c, 2: b, 3:c, 4: b & c, 5: a, 6: a & c, 7: b, 8: c, 9:a, 10: c.
* Double points: Middle of the menu has mid-priced selections; every household has a routine; ignoring the conduct may lessen situation.
How did you? Let us know: letters@stlamerican.com.
© Mannerisms LLC, Madolena Key, www.mannerismsllc.net (636) 398-6267