Aretha Franklin had a great song in the mid-‘80s called “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?” In the song, she tells the tale of a couple who are apparently deeply in love, but can’t seem to get over the hump of ego, control, perception and n that really nasty relationship word n commitment.
In the new romantic comedy Hitch (directed by Andy Tennant and starring Will Smith, Kevin James, Eva Mendes, Amber Valletta, Michael Rapaport and Adam Arkin), we run smack into a series of predictable narrative set-ups that make for an interesting, if not great, piece of contemporary entertainment.
Will Smith plays Alex Hitchens, a master of the modern hook-up. Alex not only places (mostly) young men in the prescence of available and willing young women, but he also serves as a kind of amateur psychologist. He can predict when and if a woman will respond to body language, eye contact, aroma, dress code and pure mack. He’s totally committed to his chosen profession.
Add to this the enviable personal qualities of discipline (he’s a workaholic) and anonymity (no one really knows what he does, who he is or where he lives), and you have a modern master.
There’s only one problem. Like most people who achieve mastery, he has a fatal flaw. Achilles had his heel, Bill Clinton had his wandering eye, Tupac and Biggie had their death wish. Alex can’t commit to people!
It’s not just women he can’t fix in his heart’s eye. He doesn’t seem to have any friends, buddies or even relatives. He seems almost a man without a history; he’s a man with knowledge and understanding, but no personal, emotional qualities. He’s attractive n he’s desirable n but he’s not there.
Eva Mendes comes to this film fresh from several important roles, including two with Denzel Washington n Training Day, where she played his ghetto girlfriend and baby’s momma, and Out of Time. In Hitch, she is served to us as the classic match for our hero. She’s bright, beautiful, in charge of her life and career, and has no time for romance.
This is, of course, the set-up. How can two anti-commitments become, first, fascinated with one another and, then, emotionally drawn toward one another, when they have both declared their refusal to ever come to the bar of love? The film moves around these two and their tribulation-trial affair while they decide, as Aretha would say, who’s zoomin’ who?
A parallel story features Kevin James, star of the network hit sitcom King of Queens, as Albert Brennaman, the classic social dork and emotional misfit, who seeks counsel from Hitch, the master in the court of last love resort.
Albert is overwhelmed by his attraction to heiress Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta) and crushed by the seeming impossibility of ever achieving the hook-up. The play of the emotionally open and willing Albert against Hitch’s closed and controlling persona works nicely. Some of the scenes with this duo in comedy mode are hilarious and reach right into the gut of fall-down funny.
The design of the film is interesting, but somewhat typical of this kind of romantic comedy. Everyone has a great job and beautiful apartment, dresses as if they have personal groomers and speaks with flawless diction. The grit and funk of the real New York is never evident.
Although the film is really not about New York, if would have been nice if the city had been included as a true character. Perhaps a third story line featuring the city could have been developed. That said, the film is worth its weight in silver, if not gold.
Hitch opens this Friday, Feb. 11, in general release and will be carried by a number of local theatres.
