Ask Gwendolyn Baines
NNPA
Dear Gwendolyn:
Last year I became engaged to a lady I have known since college days. She has three children who apparently have been properly disciplined. However, their grandparents are getting on my last nerve. When I tried to convey this to my fiancée, she didn’t want to talk about it. It is rumored that her family ruined her first marriage and her second marriage. I can now see the problem. She seems to side with her parents and not with her mate. I love her, but I’m tired.
Six months ago we went to look for a house. To my surprise she had asked her parents to meet us at the property. I could barely talk with the real estate agent for her mother giving her opinion. The house we were shown was nice. I really liked it, but her mother didn’t.
Gwendolyn, what should I do?
Jimmy
Dear Jimmy:
Often it takes years for a marriage to develop positively between a husband and a wife. I do commend her for having good disciplined children. Sometimes children are the blame for a failed marriage. You don’t seem to have a problem there.
Let me tell you this: Your fiancée appears to be too close to her mom. To her, she does not appear to believe that “a husband should cling to his wife and a wife should cling to her husband. Together they become as one.”
If you decide to marry this woman, do not allow her mother to choose the house or any other possessions you will have. You should indeed have a favorite space in the house of which you are to live. Your fiancée could make the choice of the wall and floor coverings, but there is no way she (and her mother) should exclude your opinions.
Jimmy, think about it. If your engagement is bad – to marry won’t make it better.
Got a problem? Don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P. O. Box 10066, Raleigh, North Carolina [to receive a reply, send a stamped self-addressed envelope], or email her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or visit her website at: www.gwenbaines.com