Promising rapper and Berkeley native John Pate candidly told The St. Louis American in a recent interview the road to creating his debut EP, “Separation SZN,” consisted of many ups and downs.
For starters, recordings were unusable at least twice: once due to equipment issues and another due to low-quality sound, a byproduct of his decision to wear a noisy windbreaker in the recording booth.
“Once you realize what it feels like to lose loved ones, it can cause you to distance yourself from ones you have left living. I felt those things and didn’t want to express them because as a man or a Black man it could make you look weak.” – Rapper John Pate
Not to mention the financial stress the project placed on him, as he also worked to pay his everyday bills.
He said as he inched closer and closer to the finish line more challenges were sent his way, making him question if it was meant for him to release the EP.
“I got over those humps and started aligning myself with the right people,” Pate said. “I believe in it [the EP] more than ever now.”
Last month he released the five-track EP. The idea was to distance himself from some issues in order to reach the next level.
“Anxiety, grief, and self-doubt, were all the things I felt I needed to separate myself from in order to get to where I want to be,” Pate said. “Anybody interested in hearing it [“Separation SZN”] can expect to hear vulnerable introspective music.”
“Intro” sets the tone for the content he covers throughout the project. It is about him distancing his old, damaged self in order to morph into a better version of himself.
“I mention my mom [briefly] who I lost a couple years ago,” Pate said. “I mention the anxiety about how sometimes I need to breathe. Sometimes I get so worked up and overwhelmed especially with doing what I’m doing now [releasing my first project]. I’ve rapped before and know how to rap, but putting together my first original body of work comes with anxiety, jitters, and nervousness.”
He said track two “Cold Feet Interlude” spotlights him elaborating more on his anxiety and the self-doubt he experiences with sleeping on his talent in rapping.
“It’s about having so many people believe in me and tell me ‘you can be the next such and such,’ but I am not seeing that in myself all the time,” Pate said. “Cold Feet Interlude” is about me feeling out of place trying to rap especially in this day and age where everything is more about “turnin up,” partying or twerking. My EP is the opposite of that. It’s about me not having the confidence I would like to have because I’m unsure and don’t know where this [rapping] is going to go. I don’t know if people are going to be receptive to my project.”
Throughout his life leading up to his EP, Pate said he’s mourned the losses of innumerable lives who’ve passed on. Track three “What’s Grief,” provides greater insight on the impact death has had over him these last few years.
“My biggest losses were my mother, my grandma and twins I had on the way,” Pate said. “I’ve lost some of the people closest to me throughout this journey. Their deaths made me want to distance myself because I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. Once you realize what it feels like to lose loved ones, it can cause you to distance yourself from ones you have left living. I felt those things and didn’t want to express them because as a man or a Black man it could make me look weak.”
Although his first three tracks fall into the rhythm of detaching himself from harmful patterns and triggers, “Growing Pains” follows a different note. He said “Growing Pains” is the other side of “Separation SZN” where he proudly boasts about how he’s cut from a different cloth from his competition.
“I’m separating myself from the pack,” Pate said. “I’m about to show you won’t find another like me. There’s nobody in this city like me or that can flow the way I do.”
The 15-minute “Lotus’ Outro” featuring Pate’s friend Toronto rapper Lotus James, who also mixed and mastered the EP uses a format similar to how J. Cole closed out “2014 Forest Hills Drive,” and how Kanye West concluded “College Dropout.”
Pate said the outro is James giving him a pep talk around everything he discussed on the project. Then it transitions to Pate thanking and shouting out everyone who played a role in him releasing his first full body of work. Listen for a nod to your favorite St. Louis American reporter.
“I wanted to thank all of the people I could think of that helped me along the way in some capacity and just tell my story for people to gain a better understanding of what I’ve been through,” Pate said.
Pate said he wants his EP to be something people can go back to and listen to when they’re having bad days.
“My music can help them get through that moment,” Pate said.
Pate, 30, doesn’t want people of a certain age to put imitations on their passion.
“A lot of people may feel like I’m 30 and I’m starting my first project ever, that’s kinda weird,” Pate said. “If I didn’t experience all I’ve experienced I wouldn’t have been able to make my art the way I’ve made it. I wouldn’t have been able to make this at 20 because I wouldn’t be nearly as good or passionate.”
Harold Walker, also known as Triiilxgy did the branding behind “Separation SZN,” including the photoshoot.
Some of the producers include Manny Manhattan, and Bandit Luce.
