“font-family: Verdana;”>It’s no secret that I’ve been on the losing end of love more than a few times for more than a few reasons. I am not ashamed and certainly not by myself in my black and single status, but every once in a while I get a little perplexed as to what keeps me that way.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>And as I near yet another season of singing “What do the lonely do at Christmas?” it seems like the universe bombards me with reasons why it is so unfair that I’m not boo’d up just to be evil.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Before anyone gets started with the “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” bit, let me stop you in your tracks. I’m not saying this from a superficial place – I’m talking about something else altogether different. Let me just get into it and you’ll instantly see where I’m going – and probably be able to relate.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>So I was liking this guy a while back. We weren’t officially an item, but the two of us were in constant communication – and so compatible it was ridiculous.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>But just before things got interesting, out of nowhere this woman who – let’s just say seemed a bit possessive, obsessive, compulsive (more than a few folks would be saying to themselves, “That heifer is crazy”) – blindsided me and took my prospect and made him her man.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Now thanks to Black & Single I have been liberated from the fear of hemming a man up and asking him where things veered left, and in most cases they are surprisingly open and receptive.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I finally caught him when he was by himself – and I cannot begin to explain what a challenge that was, with his boo basically velcroed to his hip – and asked him what gave her the edge.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“You just didn’t seem as interested as she was,” he said. “Things were great between you and I – I mean, well, the conversation was on point – but this girl made me feel like she wanted me from hello. She bought me a drink, asked me out on a date and called me the next day to make more plans. I just liked that aggressive side and confidence in her.”
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“So you are saying that if I had asked you out and waited on your front porch until you said yes with flowers in one hand, candy in another and your face tattooed on my shoulder blade, things would have gone differently for us?”
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>He shook his head in that patronizing “you don’t get it” way before we said our goodbyes.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The truth is, I saw this woman on the grind to make sure she was in his path for months before they actually ended up “miraculously hooking up.”
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I go out to take pictures for work, and every place he was she was lurking on the sidelines and would make herself known. If she would see us talking, she would politely insert herself in the conversation. As my work beckoned, they would continue to mingle the night away.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>In all honesty, I saw what she was trying to do, but I thought he would appreciate the thrill of the chase. Wrong. We are in a microwave society. Just like the notion of an hour lag time between deciding on and eating your chicken pot pie seems utterly absurd, so goes it with the men who can have something hot on command instead of waiting – let alone doing any work for it.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>I know men like to be wanted, but I always thought they wanted to hunt. But these days they obviously want their meal to fall dead, skin itself and jump from the deep fryer onto a plate of macaroni and sweet potatoes.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Even though I know I need to adapt to dating in the drought, still, brothers need to beware of the woman who goes on the deep end out of extreme thirst.
“font-size: 9.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The girl who got the guy through her oversaturation strategy was by no means a happily ever after. The same M.O. she used to hook her man ended up leading to premature and untimely and tragic end of their relationship. Yep, you guessed it … death by asphyxiation.
