I was in the loop at 6 p.m. on a dinnertime tip and those underage girls in stilettos and leggings HAD ALREADY lined up all the way across to the Metro Link Park and Ride lot. Even seeing that didn’t prepare me for the masses gathered in the pit area and all along the sides. As I walked in, some girl was being carried out because she had been overcome either by the heat of the crowd or the raw emotion/seduction offered up by Que…or both. She was whispering I love you Q (I promise this is 100% true) as they let her out to get some air.
106th and Delmar. When I got inside, Weak 52 were just getting started. What was with the one who had the mohawk, shag and tail all in one hairstyle? It was absolute totally 80’s hair game overload! And I want Henry Louis Gates to trace the chunky one’s ancestry to find out once and for all if he’s the secret love child of Jazz from Dru Hill. And though he was much too limber to have been wearing a Body Magic, that gut had absolutely no hang time. So, I’m thinking some Spankx were definitely involved. I headed upstairs (in the grownhead section) and ended up sitting next to a group of thug dudes with no female in sight. You have to be extremely secure in your manhood to be seen at the Trey Songz show on a male bonding excursion…or on the down low. What? Y’all were thinking it too. Anyway, Weak 52 sang every song that they had and changed into every outfit they own. I was done with them early on, but those girls loved ‘em. Mario was up next and he really put on a show. He’s not the best singer (even though he does have a great voice) or dancer (that’s another story) but he works hard to give a well rounded show. And he took his shirt off and had me ready to jump off the balcony and into the mosh pit with those fast little girls. Trey Songz…well…did I mention that Mario had a six pack? His show wasn’t terrible, just boring as a mug. Between you and me, I put my head on the table and slept through most of his show. And despite y’all’s nieces’ insistence, he refused to go below the second button on his blouse – which spells photoshop when it comes to those greasy muscley pics I fell in lust with.
Mario’s Karma. If he hadn’t have already won me, like during the Thundercats of R&B tour, Mario whispered sweet nothings to my soul with his appearance at the Karma for the afterset. He could truly teach Maxwell a thing or two! Whatever they paid Mario he earned and made up for three stacks of the wasted cash on Maxwell! He talked, he let some girls rub up against him and even did a mini-concert. He actually performed more songs than Chrisette Michele usually does during an entire set! He was an absolute class act with respect to getting up close and personal with his fans. On a side note, this is the second weekend in a row that Karma has had an a-list celeb in the building…I’m just saying….it’s certainly something to think about.
80’s and 90’s now. For those of you (and by you, y’all know I mean us) who used to watch Video Soul, I have a life-changing opportunity to relive the early days of when boy bands and ‘bump and grind’ first had a baby, as H-Town, Next and Troop will be in full effect next Thursday(Oct. 29) at the Ambassador! Doors open at 7 p.m. and the show starts at 8 p.m. Don’t act like you ain’t excited…because you’re only foolin’ yourself .
Kels to the STL. The pied piper of R&B is ripe and ready for his return to the Fox theatre on Dec. 8. The decision to guard your young girls is completely up to you. Just kidding…but not really. Okay, I’m done being terrible. I don’t know what R. Kelly was thinking with his opening acts! Either he is offering Pleasure P. and K. Michelle the opportunity of a lifetime, or nobody else was willing to go. (Okay, maybe I wasn’t quite finished being bad). Tickets go on sale tomorrow (Oct. 23) at 10 a.m.
Ron’s release. Speaking of R. Kelly, I wanted to give Mr. Biggs a.k.a. Ron Isley a shout out for getting out…well kind of. Word on the curb is that he was released to Dismuss Halfway house (on Cote Brilliante) last Friday.
Sad comedy. I wasn’t necessarily restless to get to Tommy Davidson’s show at the St. Louis House of Comedy last weekend, but I did want to see how his show has adapted to the turn of the century funny game. Well…it hasn’t. I chuckled at a couple of bits, but for the most part, I was sittin’ up there thinking ‘poor thang, he’s on that stuff again,” the whole time. Real talk, he even wore a crackhead uniform– a stingy (and dingy) sweatshirt, some miscellaneous, non-coordinated highwater pants and some Nimberland (as in fake Timberland) boots. And the worst thing is he didn’t know when to quit! I got there at about 10 p.m. thinking I was gonna catch a few jokes and his Y’all have been wonderful, I love you. Good night. Not happenin’! He did at least another hour. 30 minutes was talkin’ about how great white women are and the other thirty singing jacked-up versions of old, slow songs. Half the audience was nodding off and this one brother IN THE FRONT ROW just laid his head in his lady’s lap and went into stage-four snooze mode. He even mentioned that everyone was like logs up in there. I was thinking “Hello…that means say goodbye.”
Complexions’ STL connection. Y’all do realize that I’m tryin’ to get y’all some culture with this one, right? Good. And y’all will be sayin’ “Good Lawddd” when y’all see the magnificent bodies of these Alvin Ailey alums who have branched out to do their own thing through the Complexions Dance Company. They will be at the Touhill on Nov. 6-7. This is a perfect opp to let somebody know that you have some class by suggesting it as a date night! They’re not going everywhere so y’all need to support them in their decision to include the Lou as one of the select cities. I’m just sayin’.
Design for a cause. For the two of you who aren’t in the know, Shan Keith – one of the baddest fashion designers in the STL –will be showcasing his finest styles at the Windows on Washington (1601 Washington) tomorrow night (Fri., Oct. 23) at 8 p.m. (doors open at 7p.m.). A portion of the proceeds will go towards brain research and the entire night will be full of fabulous style. Call (314) 853-6365 for that info.
For mature audiences only. Grown people, the promoter folks now have a serious interest in givin’ you kickin’ it options! The Mature Affair goes down EVERY Friday with Rob Kirk and guest host at BLACK LABEL (758 S. 4th St.). And if that’s not enough Craig Blac and J. Spain are taking it to a new level with Elevation every Friday night at the City (1907 Washington).