Before I get started, let’s pour out a little liquor and have a moment of silence for Nippy and Bobbay. Their marriage finally gave up the ghost last week and it hurt me worse than when I found out that there was no Santa Claus. Even though both of them have showed out on demand and acted a complete donkey for the world to see from the time they got together, I never expected them to break up.
Their relationship made me think of that crazy old couple from “In Living Color.” Y’all know who I’m talking about – the two who had been trying to kill each other for the past 75 years but always ended up saying “and we still together.”
In the 20 minutes that they have been separated, the media has gone to town with the rumors and jokes, putting Whitney everywhere from a rehab retreat to the recording studio staging a comeback.
But the Walnut Park Joan Champion of the Week award goes to Jay Leno for his snap. He said the couple was “dividing their assets with a razor.” Ouch. That stung worse than Seabreaze on freshly plucked eyebrows. Uncle Jay Jay made me want to round up all of the crack heads in the world like a shepherd and lead them into rehab so nobody could ever say that mess to or about anybody again in life.
Speaking of late night TV, can I ask what Willie Tyler and Lester were doing on David Letterman this week? You mean to tell me that with all the throwback comedians, that’s the best you can do! During the whole skit (which was made up of exactly the same jokes as they told back in ’76) I felt like I was in a time machine on my way to see Richard Pryor and the transmission gave out.