Now while most of you aspiring gold diggers are sittin’ around slappin’ high fives on the rulin’ that will give Juanita Jordan $168 million of my Michael’s money – my soul is crushed. Ever since I was in my doorknocker and Bamboo earring phase and getting that one hairstyle they used to do at the Parsons, I’ve been waiting for the two of them to break up so me and him could live happily ever after. But this changes errrrrything! First of all I wasn’t expecting to wait 20 years. According to my plans and calendar, I should have left Michael for Kevin Garnett four years ago – not watchin’ Juanita run off with all of our money and getting’ her groove back with a 22 year old too. If this ain’t a lesson about keepin’ your eye on the prize and havin’ patience, I don’t know what is. Oh well. I guess I’ll just stick to my plan B – waitin’ on Vanessa to get tired of Kobe’s mess. What? He might not be a Jordan, but he shol’ ain’t no Shaq!