Single ladies – keep your hands up!
I know my single, female colleague Kenya Vaughn said a show of hands isn’t necessary since so many women are single. There are a lot of SBFs (single black females), so maybe Beyonce’s song Single Ladies (not that we listen to it – unless there’s a single female in our passenger seat) should’ve said, “all the GOOD single ladies put your hands up.”
Many men believe that most of the good women are taken, gay or scorned, possibly by the illusionary Mr. Right. And those who haven’t been scorned by him are still looking for him, so they sashay pass good brothers all the time in search of the brother with those exterior qualities, a fat wallet or some kind of celebrity.
Memo: those brothers get divorced by good women on the regular.
But I digressed: so much to heart matters.
Point is: if you truly are a good, heterosexual lady – by all means – put your hands up high. There are plenty of good men (who aren’t dead, jailed or on the down low) looking for you.
But if you’re in “the meantime” and enjoying your single life – that’s all right. What are you supposed to do? Walk around with your chin dragging on the ground? I don’t think so.
Make the best of your situation. “Singlehood” provides a good space to take care of yourself. Work toward your goals and do some things you like to do.
So, yes, if “Bouncy” wants to pop a song that the uplifts the spirits of single women – I’m with it. I don’t particularly like the song, but I admit I like a lot of her songs – even the ones for women.
Hey, I’m pro-woman and pro-happiness. I’d rather be happily single than miserably married (or steady, as they used to say). So I think the song is right on track.
Not that holy matrimony isn’t a beautiful thing when it’s beautiful. But where’s the joy in holding up a hand with a blinging rock on it, Kenya, when your relationship is dull and on the rocks. No thank you.
Still, I like Beyonce’s line, “If you like it then you should’ve put a ring on it.” He didn’t, so she bounced.
We all know about the estranged relationship of (some) men and lack of commitment, and a lot of them personify the illusionary Mr. Right.
And another thing, Kenya. I applaud Beyonce for writing a single ladies anthem, though she’s married. She was once single, so I’m sure she knows how it feels. She obviously has hit home with millions of single women. I’m sure married women, with rings on their fingers, can also relate to the song as they too have traveled that road before.
The culminating advice that I have for SBFs is: use this “meantime,” as Author Iyanla Vanzant has said, to heal, edify your self and contemplate.
As for selecting single men, ladies, make sure you try to date within your own rating. If you know you’re a seven, don’t try to pull a 10. The tens, nines or eights will almost always beat you out – at some point.
Of course, there are exceptions, but come on women, many of you all aren’t so willing to date down. Don’t get me wrong, attraction is important, but there are other attributes to consider – like spirituality, character and intellect.
Back to reality.
Good single ladies, keep your hands and chins up, but remember beauty (yours too) is only skin deep, which we already know.
Until next time: all my single ladies…
