“I just had to walk away from the whole situation high and dry,” she said. “I figured if it’s God’s will, then why would He allow him to put me in a position to compromise what I believe to be right and decent?”
Let the church say, “Amen!”
A close encounter with the adulterer kind took my friend to a place of spiritual awakening.
They met at work and he became her “office husband” – with no benefits, of course. They worked together on projects, took long lunches and he even turned on her computer when he arrived to work to make it look like she was not 10 minutes late every day.
It’s serious business if somebody has your desktop password … even if it’s at work.
She changed jobs. They stayed in touch. They would often meet for outings and concerts and had become gym buddies. He did handyman work for her around the house. She was thoughtful and considerate, and he told her that she listened and understood him in a way that no one else could.
I would say it was perfect, but you know there’s always a catch.
He was everything she wanted in a man – well, except for the most important thing. He’s married.
A year into their platonic relationship (three years after they were work spouses) he professed his love for my friend, and things got complicated to say the least.
You see not only is he married, but his wife is ill. It’s chronic – and very serious.
He swears that he doesn’t love his wife anymore, but feels like he can’t leave her because he will be demonized because she’s sick.
So, he asked my friend if she would be willing to be “his rock” until he has the strength to walk away from his marriage.
“And by his rock, he meant a side piece of rock,” she said.
The idea of a man with a sick wife propositioning for a mistress is slimy, but not original.
He swore to her that he was not a bad person – which is another reason he doesn’t want to just leave his wife high and dry.
“He told me that he knows the process of them separating and getting a divorce would cause her extreme stress, which could be detrimental to her health,” she said. “But he also said that he had fallen in love with me over the course of our friendship and could no longer hide his feelings. The truth is, I felt the same way and just never acted on it.”
She admitted that she had never experienced the type of chemistry with anyone – not even the man she thought she was going to marry.
“The whole situation took me to a place I had never been emotionally,” she admitted. “I mean, I really do love this man, but he has a sick wife that he is not willing or able to cut ties with.”
She understood why he couldn’t leave, but she didn’t understand why he would even ask her to go down that road –and she couldn’t understand why she found herself considering it.
She weighed her options. She even thought, to herself of course, that their relationship might be so wonderful that he would be more willing to devote himself completely to her and in turn develop the strength to leave his wife.
After being torn and conflicted to the depths of her soul, she prayed.
“What I heard was, ‘Anything that is of Me will not take you down a notch, but lift both of you up,’” she said. “I mean, think about it, anything that lowers – whether it’s your values, your standards or even your self-esteem – there is just simply no way it’s for you.”
