This Sunday will mark one year since the death of unarmed teen Michael Brown Jr. became the catalyst for protest and unrest in Ferguson that would continue for months and attract global attention. As the spotlight returns to the region for the anniversary, Brown’s mother, Lezley McSpadden, is looking forward, not back.
On Friday, August 7, she and her Michael O.D. Brown We Love Our Sons and Daughters Foundation will formally introduce her Rainbow of Mothers organization with the inaugural Rainbow of Mothers Gala.
Rainbow of Mothers will provide a support system to mothers who are struggling their way through the loss of a child.
“I thought about the old saying that after every storm there is a rainbow,” McSpadden said. “I also thought about how it was time all the different races and backgrounds of mothers who have gone through loss came together – time for us to stand together, fight when we need to, but also heal.”
Her decision was a therapeutic one as the anniversary approaches.
“I am experiencing a range of emotions,” McSpadden said. “What makes me nervous is when I think back to those people who haven’t been sympathetic to what happened to my son – the county prosecutor, some Ferguson officials and the cop who killed him.”
McSpadden said, from the depths of her own pain, she hopes to be a rainbow in the cloud for other suffering mothers.
“This is a personal thing,” she said. “You can’t tell a person how to deal with their pain or how to grieve. What I will say is that you’re gonna have up and downs, so it’s okay not to try to be superwoman when you might wanna crawl up in a ball and cry.”
As she mourned the loss of her son, McSpadden had the added stress of being forced to grieve before the world. The phenomenon of Ferguson set her apart even from other mothers who were thrust into the limelight by their child’s death.
“With Sabrina Fulton, Trayvon’s mother, she tried to give me insight on how to deal with certain things,” McSpadden said. “It was helpful, but losing Mike Mike was still so different.”
In addition to the outrage that fueled non-stop protests in Ferguson, McSpadden had to watch her son be demonized.
“Michael Brown is not on trial. His killer should be,” McSpadden said.
In the meantime, she is forging ahead in the name of her son.
“Everything I’m doing is for my son’s legacy, so I think about the things that interested him, like technology and music, and it’s those things that helped me shape my foundation,” McSpadden said. “Mike Mike loved technology, so we’re gonna launch programs that focus on science, technology, the arts and math.”
The foundation also will work to reform law enforcement policies. “You have children now afraid of the police,” McSpadden said. “When they see them, they run. Not because they’re guilty – but because they’re afraid for their own safety.”
McSpadden said there is much more to her than the grief and anger the world has seen to date.
“When I conceived Rainbow Of Mothers, it was because I thought about how I am as a person,” McSpadden said. “I share what I have, and give even when I don’t have, because there’s always someone less fortunate than you are, or just as broken – if not more. It’s about sharing resources or experiences that I’ve had during this difficult time, because there is another mother, like me, in need.”
As she lives through the constant reminders of her son’s death, McSpadden said, her husband Louis Head and her three surviving children (Deja, Andre and Jazzy) are endless sources of positive energy.
“They give me breath and bring me overwhelming joy and excitement as I watch them grow and develop, despite this very difficult year,” McSpadden said. “My son wants to take karate; my youngest daughter, dancing. And my oldest daughter is looking at colleges – something that I didn’t have the opportunity to do.”
That is bittersweet, considering that her son was killed just days away from realizing his own goal of attending college.
Through her family, faith and newly formed foundation she is excited about what the future holds.
“There are so many times that I could’ve just given up, but all these things motivate me not to,” McSpadden said. “It’s about turning my pain into my power – and tragedy into triumph.”
Though she is trying to move forward triumphantly, that does not mean she has forgiven those responsible for her family’s tragedy.
“It’s hard to forgive when someone hasn’t even acknowledged, owned or accepted accountability for their actions,” McSpadden said. “I’m not ready to turn the other cheek right now because we still have unfinished business. This conversation is not going away. Ask me about forgiveness when we see accountability.”
The Inaugural Rainbow of Mothers Gala will take place on Friday, August 7 at Barnett’s, 3207 Washington Ave. A special invite-only dinner will take place for Rainbow Mothers at 5 pm. The post-dinner festivities will be open to the public and begin at 8 p.m. For more information, visit www.michaelodbrown.org
