A warrior and a guiding light

Tammie Holland’s longtime on-air partner Tony Scott echoed the sentiments of nearly everyone who filled Union Memorial Methodist Church on Tuesday morning.

“Honestly, it never occurred to me that Tammie wouldn’t beat this,” Scott said. “It never crossed my mind.”

Because of her resilience and courage from the onset of her illness until her untimely passing on July 20 at the age of 53, she gave everyone a reason to believe she would. Holland’s three-year cancer journey was a series of setbacks and comebacks with every obstacle chronicled through her social media accounts. In July of 2021, Holland was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. The colon cancer begat liver cancer. The liver cancer begat lung cancer. The lung cancer begat brain cancer. With every new diagnosis, Holland took a fighting stance and dialed up her already unrelenting optimism.

“She was a warrior,” said Terry Crouppen. “A warrior is not a person who necessarily wins or loses. It’s somebody who is willing to take 10 shots to get one shot back at them.”

She operated as if the cancer was already defeated – and yet simultaneously lived every moment as if it was her last.

“When she went into hospice, I was hoping for a miracle,” Scott said. “It’s not for me to choose the miracle. Maybe the miracle was that she lived long enough to see Meadow graduate.”

Holland’s final post on social media was the praise report of being able to wish her daughter Meadow McNeary – Holland’s only child – a happy 18^th birthday on July 14.

Even those who attended her services at City Hall and Union Memorial still found her passing hard to believe. Holland captured the hearts of St. Louis as a longtime radio personality and podcast host – most recently as a co-host of “The Real Breakfast Crew” on Foxy 106.9 FM. She would have been pleased with how family, friends, fellow media colleagues, community leaders and listeners bid her farewell.

“Her voice served as a guiding light to the St. Louis region for over three decades and will remain imprinted on our hearts,” read a resolution from Congresswoman Cori Bush. “Her authenticity and sweetness brought comfort to many. Tammie Holland left a remarkable legacy and she will continue to inspire future generations.”

A phrase heard more than once throughout her funeral was, “in true Tammie fashion.” It was often used as a preface for an anecdote that illustrated her sense of humor. She would have loved seeing how laughter comforted those in attendance through their tears.

Her “Real Breakfast Crew” co-hosts Aretha Richardson and Sinita Wells had a Lucy and Ethel moment during their remarks.

“Some people come to these funerals knowing that they are not supposed to be here,” Richardson said. “Well, Tammie gave me a list.” She unleashed a scroll of names that unrolled and hit the floor – and kept going. “She did not,” Wells said, scooping up the scroll and scurrying Richardson back to her seat. The church erupted with laughter. The only thing missing from the bit was Holland’s signature cackle.

“Well Tony, Tammie finally got you to come to church,” said Guy Torry.  In true Torry fashion, he took the joke up a notch. “Look what she had to do to get you to come.” While they started out humorous, Torry’s remarks quickly turned heartfelt after likening Holland’s lived experiences to a “Hollywood soap opera.”

“God gave her one life to live and as the world turns she will remain in our hearts for the rest of the days of our lives,” Torry said. “And it didn’t matter what age Tammie was, she was always Young and Restless – and walked through life Bold and Beautiful. And she will now be Meadow’s Guiding Light.”

Crouppen acknowledged Holland’s sense of humor and “killer smile,” but said they were just a gateway to her true gifts.

“Tammie had the ability to lift people up,” Crouppen said. “She had something in her that allowed her to see what you couldn’t see in yourself – something that you had no idea was there. You knew there was more in you and [because of her] you tried to be that. I saw her do that over and over again.”

Rev. Dr. John W. Heyward, Jr. met Holland when she was a five-year-old and he was the newly appointed senior pastor of Union Memorial.

“I watched her grow and develop into a very fine young woman,” Heyward said. “There was never a dull moment when you are with Tammie. And it looked like she got a joy out of doing something for other people. If you were down, Tammie could lift you up. If you were sad, she could make you happy. I don’t know if she could do anything for you if you were broke…”

Yet again, the church filled with laughter at the quip from the church’s pastor emeritus.

He said Holland was the personification of “give it all you’ve got.”

“Tammie gave it all she had – And she didn’t let nothing stop her,” he said. “Sixty seconds worth of distance running was Tammie’s life. She didn’t let sickness stop her.”

Her family church’s current pastor Rev. Dr. Antonio Settles delivered the eulogy and his words were perfectly aligned with all who spoke before his culminating remarks.

Before he started, he led the entire church in a rendition of “This Little Light of Mine.”

“If I had to put a title on this [eulogy] I would say, ‘her light is still shining,’” Settles said. “She lit up St. Louis with her light. Tammie’s light built bridges and relationships.

Tammie’s light connected souls across the airwaves.  She touched lives with that infectious smile, laugh and voice. Her light drew people into a better and brighter day.”