On most mornings, like most parents, I grab my cattle prod and herd my sons through the morning routine of showers, hair grease, clothes and breakfast, before we all pile into my car for the five-minute drive to their elementary school. Some mornings are easier than others, but most rank as your run-of-the mill challenge.
Once in the car, the chances are high that I will have to explain (again) why they can’t watch a movie.
“You know the rule, no movies on the way to church and no movies on the way to school.”
Amazingly, that is one of the few moments that they don’t try to negotiate for a better deal. Usually, they are armed with all manner of arguments. Some of those debates makes sense and others aren’t in the same room as sense.
One day, things took a strange turn. PJ was happily distracted by the sunshine as he reflected on what the school day had in store. It was the day called “specials,” when students take in the library, gym, computers and music classes. Who among you wouldn’t look forward to those days?
But Marcus was distracted by another issue.
“Are you coming home early?”
It’s the one question that I get from my six-year-old every other day. And it’s a question that makes me cringe a bit inside. How do I explain to him that I’ll try my hardest, but that working in a newsroom means much of my schedule is left to chance? How do I explain to him that being able to be with them in the morning means coming home later at night?
I have tried to explain in the past. This day, he delivered a blow that left me breathless.
“Mommy, can you quit your job?”
The only words I could utter were, “Can I what?”
“Can you quit your job?” And as if that wasn’t enough, he added, “Can you quit your job and stay home with me?”
I took a deep breath and began my verbal tap dance.
“Sweetie, you aren’t even home during the day, you’re in school. And by working, I get paid and, with that money, we pay for the car and food and trips to Blockbuster.”
I believe it was the reference to his beloved movie rentals that got him. “Okay,” he said, “keep working, then.”
A part of me does want to be a stay-at-home mom and spend my days volunteering at area charities, going to the gym and mopping my kitchen floor every day, unlike the current schedule. But the other part of me likes to work.
I thought, too, of the many black and poor women who have no real choice but to work hard, holding down at least two jobs. I’m sure those women, like the college student who says she was working as a stripper to pay her way through college and claims she was raped by some Duke Lacrosse players, would love to stay home, if only they could afford it.
Those are issues I can’t explain to my six-year-old. Then again, most politicians and talking heads really can’t explain them either.