Part of a year-long series, presented by The American and the Brown School at Washington University, about changing the narratives and outcomes of young black males in St. Louis.
On September 23, 2005, a black male was born in St. Louis, Missouri, and my parents named me Jerrel Sibert. Growing up I was a pretty privileged black kid who always had a lot of toys and entertainment. So I never knew the issues that were going on around me in my own city, like today’s news headlines: “A sad day for the Brown family” or “Young black male shot in his car for getting his ID.”
I was concerned, so I asked my mom, “What does all of this mean?” She explained it to me, and all I could say was: “Why?”
She is working hard for both of us. Being a single mother is hard, and it makes me respect mothers a lot more. Living in a small house in Florissant where you hear screaming or a gunshot outside had me staying under her at all times.
At the same time, I was going to a not-so-great school and becoming a little troublemaker myself. That was because of the type of friends I chose to hang around with and the bad decisions I was making. I wanted to fit in with the boys who were always talking about rap, drugs, guns, beating people up, you name it.
I knew it wasn’t healthy for me, but I wanted to be cool like they were. As a result, I did bad stuff and would ask myself, “Would the guys do this?” But when I did things, I would get in trouble, and they never did. I was a follower, and my mom kept telling me you need to stop following and become a leader.
One day when I was visiting my grandma, I made a friend, and we later became the best of friends. I was sad that we couldn’t hang out with each other more. One day my grandma asked my friend’s mom what school she went to, since things weren’t going well for me at my school. The school that she attends is Maplewood Richmond Heights Elementary.
After I transferred to her school, my first year there was a good experience. I made a good-sized group of friends. Some of them weren’t good for me, like at my old school, Walnut Grove Elementary, so I cut them off.
As time went on, I learned that your decisions carry on with you a long way. I struggled to find friends who would lead me to success and wouldn’t get me in trouble.
We had a black male as our assistant principal, and he told me how people see me as a black male and how they look for things to make me unsuccessful. I took that to heart.
For my 7th grade experience I felt prepared, since I had learned so many lessons from my past mistakes and I used them all for leverage. I still had some friends from 4th grade that I felt were good for me and had a pretty good student relationship with my teachers.
Our counselor opened opportunities for me and several other students. She offered a chance for us to go to a leadership camp at one of the best colleges in Missouri. I took this opportunity and was able to make friends and learn some great life skills.
When I was back and in 8th grade, I had figured out that I have a role and mine is to be a leader. I will lead the way and help others to find their calling and let them know that they have a purpose as well.
Jerrel Sibert was nominated by Ed Rich, director of Communications for Maplewood Richmond Heights School District. Rich said Jerrel has demonstrated leadership skills as part of the school’s leadership class and was recently nominated to participate in the restorative practice circle training at the middle school to mediate conflicts among his peers.
“Homegrown Black Males” is a partnership between HomeGrown STL at the Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis and The St. Louis American, edited by Sean Joe, Benjamin E. Youngdahl Professor and associate dean at the Brown School, and Chris King, managing editor of The American, in memory of Michael Brown.
