Last September when the Alston-Bannerman Fellowship Program announced its 2011 fellows, yours truly was among the privileged group. Since 1988, the program has allowed for community organizers of color to take a break of at least three consecutive months for reflection and renewal.
I wrote my last column from scenic Washoe Valley, Nevada where I began my sabbatical at a writers retreat at the Orchard House. There seemed to be interest at home in what I’d be doing and where I’d be going. Initially I thought that my activities would be so personal to me that they would not pique anyone’s interest. When all was said and done, I decided that there may be some kernels of wisdom that were worth passing on.
My journey of self-awareness started with two questions: Who am I and what I am supposed to be doing? Yes, I went all existentialist on myself. I reviewed my astrological chart, reflected on my family history (spending extended time with family members across the country) and pondered my life path of struggle for human rights and dignity. I concluded that fighting against injustice and inequality are in my DNA and that my enduring commitment is a manifestation of my intrinsic values and eternal hopes.
On the personal side, I had a complete physical, eye exam and detox body wrap. I decided to reduce my sugar intake and eliminate the last vestiges of red meat in my diet, chicken and turkey.
Although I plan to live another 50 years, I started preparing for death. I completed my health care directive (named a person to make health decisions if I’m incapacitated and under what circumstances to withhold medical treatment). I also donated my body to medical science.
I went through a processing of downsizing and streamlining my “stuff.” I cleaned out and reorganized my personal files, photographs, clothes, even my beloved books.
I read nine of the 12 books I had targeted to read during my sabbatical. I wrote poetry and political essays. I plan to read more and write more as these are passions of mine that often lose out in the competition of time.
I pulled out my Rosetta Stone Spanish program I bought five years ago and started learning the language. Quiero hablar en español en un año. Seriously.
I am a wannabe photographer. With the help of my professional photographer friends, I am pursuing photography, a long-time underdeveloped interest.
I have decided that the growing disgust and impatience I feel towards stupid, mean and greedy people are valid. I just need to make sure I don’t get sucked into their sick games, but stay focused on working with like-minded people who believe that our planet and the people who inhabit it are worthy of saving.
I have concluded that I can do all the things I need and want to do, like continuing to develop myself, spending quality time with loved ones and transforming this wounded society. These things are possible with the appropriate amount of planning and focus.
I have re-affirmed that we all have a role in advancing humankind to its highest potential in a world that is peaceful and just. There are too many human placeholders (taking up space!) who become obstructionists along the way. They need some love and a lot of direction before we give up on them.
Lastly, since most of us will never get three months off with pay, I suggest we all find ways to retreat and reflect on a daily basis, that we make the time to take care of ourselves and others, and that we participate in the human experience in the most positive and creative ways possible.
