Columnist Cassandra Walker
You loyal readers know that son number one left this summer to go to school at the University of Washington in Seattle. He will be playing Division 1 basketball for the Huskies.
Daily, I hear from other mothers asking me how I am doing and if I have cried yet?
I give them all the same response, which is that son number one is so happy about being in college and playing basketball that I can not cry about his leaving.
That is why I am confused about my most recent roller coaster of emotions.
This past week I took son number three to the middle school to report for seventh grade.
As I was driving him there, I talked about how his future was in God’s and his hands and that he could be whatever he wanted to be. I told him to find friends like himself and to continue to work hard to get good grades.
As I was finishing my talk we pulled into the large parking/drop-off area at the school, and we both noticed the many students waiting outside to be admitted into the building.
Son number three spotted a friend and I slowed down so he could get out. He scurried away giving me a quick wave good bye.
As I drove off and left him there I felt very sad all of a sudden and tears started to roll down my cheeks.
I could not understand why I was crying for this son and not for the son I had to take to the airport and send 2,000 miles away.
Then it hit me. Son number three was always the young son who tried to be like his big brothers. He was always in elementary school, always needing my help and always trying to be a big boy but yet still a little one.
Now, he was officially a big boy, just six months shy of 13, and I could see him leaving for college just as quickly as son number one. That is why I was crying.
My life and even my columns for the past 10 years have been about my boys growing up and the fun and pain of raising children.
I was starting to realize that the time was passing by and I still wanted them to be little boys.
After I cried it out I talked to my husband and he gave me a new perspective. Be happy, he said, you have had and still have a hand in raising the next generation of well-adjusted, God-fearing men.
Now that is something to smile, not cry about.
He is right.
Thanks for sharing.