We are naturally driven to want more.
We set goals, achieve them, and then immediately aim for the next milestone.
There is a problem, though. It is false to believe that achieving a goal creates joy, gratitude, or worthiness. This can lead to a life filled with hustle and exhaustion, only to “arrive” and feel the same, or worse, because of unmet expectations.
Here’s the truth: 99% of the time, we are on the journey. Only 1% of the time we will actually be at the destination. That means most of your life is spent in the pursuit — not the achievement. If you don’t learn how to enjoy the now, you’ll miss the beauty of your current life.
Your feelings don’t come from the goal or the “thing.” They come from your thoughts about what you’ve accomplished. For example, someone working hard to pay off their home might think, “Once I’ve paid it off, I’ll feel proud and at peace.” But peace and pride aren’t tied to the goal — they come from thoughts like, “I did it” or “It’s officially mine.”
As you set your goals, try this:
- Write a list of 10 things you really want to create or achieve.
- If you could make one of those things happen now, which one would make the biggest difference in your life?
We can pursue many goals, but focusing on one main goal keeps us organized and aware when we’re off track.
To reach your goals, start by answering these questions:
- How will you feel when you’ve achieved this goal? What emotion will it create? Practice feeling that emotion now.
- What will you need to think about yourself to take the consistent action required? Be intentional with how you think about your goal and your ability to achieve it.
- What obstacles are standing in your way right now?
Turn those obstacles into your strategy for the year. Each one becomes part of your to-do list. For example, if “not enough time” is an obstacle, your strategy might include carving out an hour each morning for focused work.
Take time to think of solutions for each obstacle. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. Perfectionism only holds you back. You won’t know if every action will work — but taking action leads to more data and brings you closer to what does work. Trial and error, combined with consistent effort, is how we create real change.
Pursuing goals is about balance — working toward what you want while staying present in the life you’re living now. The future you’re striving for only matters in the present moment. When you “arrive” at your goal, the only time you’ll experience it is in the now.
This balance allows us to push ourselves toward aspirations while appreciating our current relationships, experiences and gifts. It creates a richer, more fulfilling life.
If you’re setting goals, remember to remain in constant gratitude for the present. Without this balance, we risk looking back on life wondering what happened — waiting on something external to bring us the joy and peace we had the power to create all along.
Regina Sloan is a life coach who assists women in their personal and professional lives. She can be reached at info@reginasloancoaching.com. This commentary was originally published by the Indianapolis Recorder