Jewel Fay Betty Ann Bateman Suggs, also known as Betty Suggs, former and only wife of St. Louis American publisher Donald M. Suggs, was a storyteller. When her children asked why the name on her birth certificate was so long, she explained its origin. “My parents [who eventually divorced] just couldn’t agree on anything, so when I was born, one wanted to name me Jewel Fay and the other wanted to name me Betty Ann. The administrator filling out the birth certificate tired of my parents’ bickering and wrote down two first names and two middle names.” Her legal name remained Jewel Fay Betty Ann Bateman until she married.
Betty Suggs was born to Julia May Pulliam and George Bateman on May 15, 1935, in Indianapolis, Indiana. She was the last of their nine children (Annette, Constance, Donald, George, Jr., JoAnn, Melvin, Nona and Paul). As the story goes, George, a peripatetic entertainer, ran off leaving Julia May with nine kids on her own when Betty was a baby; and Julia May divorced him. Julia May, a raven-haired beauty, caught the eye and heart of a kind man named Charles Thomas Pulliam who married her and helped her raise her nine children. Tom, as he was called, was a man of few words who saw no reason to contradict Julia May publicly; and her children would never want for anything, materially, under his roof.
Betty at five
As a young mother, Betty repeated stories to her children (Donald M. Suggs, Jr., Dawn M. Suggs and Dina M. Suggs) that illustrated their family history, matrilineally, and their mother’s lust for life at a very young age. Betty would later go on to become an award-winning Toastmasters speaker after her children went away to college. Even during the last decade, while residing at a nursing home in North St. Louis, Betty, though wheelchair-bound, traveled to community centers to speak publicly and entertain other seniors.
One of the most delightful stories Betty shared with her children was about her neighbor’s garden. “When I was a little girl, there was a neighbor who had this beautiful, immaculate, garden made up of tulips. I admired this garden so much that one day I took my little bucket and shovel over to the garden and picked every single flower in it, all while singing [a popular song of the day], “I love coffee, I love tea, I love a java java, it loves me.”
“You didn’t leave any flowers?” her children would ask.
“Not a one,” she confirmed shaking her head and still surprised at her own gall. “Oh my mother gave me such a whooping,” she added.
Passing
A particularly painful aspect of her childhood was being compelled “to pass” as white when her family went on road trips and ran out of food. “Oh, I hated that,” she sadly recalled. “I was terrified as a child, walking into segregated diners to buy food for my family. What if they could tell I was Black?” She was the fair-skinned baby of the family tasked with something hard for others to fathom. What kind of damage might it do to one’s soul to be cajoled and coerced to pass for another race, to be separated from one’s family, to be cast out, then let back in based on convenience?
Betty would become highly annoyed as an adult, and she’d check anyone who called her anything, but “Black.” Her phenotype could be interpreted otherwise, by white folks, but she was quite clear on who she was having been raised by Black folks in the segregated Midwest. She was Black, her culture was Black, her features were Black, and she thought no better or worse of herself as a Black woman with fair hair and fair skin.
“I loved my school. I loved my teachers”
While there was a school located three blocks from her home, Betty was bused to an all-Black school in Indianapolis, School #42. All of her teachers there were masters and Ph.D.-educated and she felt blessed to go to that school. Those teachers instilled in her respect for educators and elders. She recounted that her teachers loved their students and vice-versa; and Betty believed it was this experience that led to her decision to become an educator.
One summer, Betty was cast as the lead in Cinderella and won a prize, the book Pinocchio, for her performance. She was proud of her accomplishment, but wished she’d received a different book because she’d already read Pinocchio. She read everything that she could. Young Betty often “snuck” books into bed and read them late at night with a flashlight. In a 2019 interview at her nursing home, she had this to say about her passion for reading, “With eight siblings, there was always drama in the home, it was the only way to get away from it.”
Indiana U.
Betty studied ballet, and joined a dance troupe at her alma mater, Indiana University. There, she joined the Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority and met an ambitious upperclassman by the name of Donald Suggs at a basketball game. In the 2019 interview, she detailed the meeting: “A fella was there flirting with me; he was friends with [my future husband] Donald. That fella was bothering me and I ignored him. That night my future husband called me on the phone to apologize for the other boy bothering me, then asked me out on a date. I was a sophomore in college at the time. We dated until I graduated and were married in August of 1956.”
From Dover to St. Louis
Donald sought training as an oral surgeon after his graduation from Indiana University Dental School and was accepted for a program in New York City. He subsequently turned it down to go to St. Louis to train at the legendary hospital, Homer G. Phillips, which was led by Blacks. Betty said, “St. Louis was noted for having [Homer G. Phillips Hospital] one of the finest medical hospitals in the United States.” They spent two years in St. Louis before Donald left to serve a couple of years in the U.S. Air Force, in Dover, Delaware, where their first child, Donald, Jr., was born. They became enamored of the East Coast and planned to make their home in Washington, D.C. after leaving the military, but they were seduced into returning to St. Louis when Donald was offered a position at the now defunct Washington University Dental School where he was the first African American to take graduate courses. He would have been the first African American on the faculty, if the offer wasn’t abruptly rescinded after they’d already re-settled. Donald worked as an anesthetist for a few years at Homer G. Phillips before he opened a private practice in North St. Louis, as the first Black licensed oral surgeon in the state.
They remained in St. Louis where both daughters, Dawn and Dina, were born. Donald later accepted a teaching position at St. Louis University. He enjoyed teaching almost as much as his wife Betty, who received her masters in teaching from Webster University. She taught elementary school in St. Louis and would later teach at the college level at University of Missouri – St. Louis. Budget cuts ruined Betty’s opportunity for tenure, so rather than accept a night teaching position, she dedicated herself full-time to raising her children. Betty continued what would amount to 40 years of volunteer work, including giving tours and lectures as a docent at the Saint Louis Art Museum. She fundraised for the YWCA and YMCA, and became the top phone solicitor for the Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra in the late 80s. In the early 90s, she worked in classified advertising at The St. Louis American. After her children entered middle school and high school, she volunteered at the bookstores of their schools, Country Day (later known as MICDS) and John Burroughs School, before her daughters went to boarding schools in Massachusetts. Betty and Donald’s marriage ended in 1984.
Teaching kindness
Dawn and Dina remember their mother Betty as stalwart about progressive education and values. In the 70s, their mother created a moving puppet show for young children featuring puppets with “disabilities”. She performed in St. Louis public schools to sensitize children and encourage them to respect and show kindness to people of all abilities.
Ageless St. Louisan
Later in life, Betty won a local nursing home pageant competition for seniors in St. Louis, then advanced to the state competition and was crowned “Queen” of the Ms. Missouri Nursing Home pageants. Betty regularly worked at election polling sites in St. Louis, taught seniors how to read, worked for Habitat for Humanity and proudly served as a member of the Silver-Haired Legislature in Missouri, and as a liaison for her nursing home to the Northside Action Association. Based on her dedicated service to seniors, she was honored as an “Ageless Remarkable Saint Louisan in 2014.”
Betty became the proud and loving grandmother of Delali Suggs-Akuffu, her only grandchild, in 2008. In a 2019 interview, Betty stressed, “Parents and teachers showing kindness to others is extremely important in life.” She modeled this, even in the most trying times of her life. Her unique spirit, panache and dynamism, could still be witnessed in performances as recently as 2018 when she performed a tap dance from her wheelchair, dressed-up for the Halloween talent show at her nursing home. She brought down the house.
Her final days were filled with a deep outpouring of love and attention from family and exceptional caregivers at Laclede Groves nursing home in Webster Groves. She left this world, as she lived her remarkable life, with dignity and grace.
Donald Suggs, Jr., her first child, preceded her in death in 2012. Betty is survived by daughters Dawn M. Suggs and Dina M. Suggs, granddaughter Delali Suggs-Akaffu and many nephews and nieces.
Funeral services were held privately. Those wishing to honor Betty can make a donation to the Easterseals Black Child Fund that serves St. Louis, Missouri and other communities by addressing racial disparities in healthcare among young Black children with autism and other disabilities. https://secure.easterseals.com/site/Donation2?idb=796381776&df_id=19404&19404.donation=form1&mfc_pref=T&pk_vid=31c852d62577b1b816443557285e9d61&_ga=2.50483306.279331399.1644355713-207837406.1644355713
