“font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;”>They are talking sex in

the church. And it’s about time.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“You cannot look at a

person and tell if he has HIV/AIDS,” said Sheila Grigsby, founder

and director of Faith Communities United. “The only way to tell is

a diagnosis by a physician.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>At the Sister to Sister

Saving Our Selves SOS Summit held recently at Christ the King

United Church of Christ in St. Louis County, women and girls

engaged in frank, non-judgmental discussion of sexuality,

spirituality and HIV/AIDS prevention.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>National HIV/AIDS

awareness advocate Hydeia Broadbent was born HIV-positive. She

began speaking out about HIV/AIDS because she saw so many of her

friends engaging in behaviors that put their lives in jeopardy. Now

in her twenties, her keynote address was about removing fears and

stigma concerning HIV/AIDS.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“If you meet someone who

has HIV or AIDS, they have more reason to fear you than you do

them,” Broadbent said, because of their weakened immune

systems.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The importance of

knowing your HIV status and routine testing was stressed – at least

once a year or every time you change sex partners.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>About 270 women and

girls from age 8 to 89 participated in the SOS Summit, and 67 were

screened for HIV.

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“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Better

decisions

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“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Not having grown up in

the church, Broadbent said she never felt she was living up to her

potential. After finding God and re-examining her life, she said

she is able to make better decisions.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“When I wasn’t shown

love at home, when I grew up and started dating, I didn’t know what

love was supposed to be,” Broadbent said. “I went to therapy, I go

to church and it plays a big part in the decisions that you make –

your relationship with the Lord.”

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>One important decision

discussed at the summit is choice of sexual partner and sexual

behavior.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“You really need to

think about that person you are laying down with and who they are

because you are a reflection of who you sleep with,” Broadbent

said.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“It’s not who you are –

it’s what you do that puts you at risk for HIV,” Grigsby

said.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Grigsby warned against

being influenced by one’s partner.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“When we meet our sexual

partners – the people we are attracted to – when they start to talk

to us and they start to tell us things, they’re the ones who

influence more than anyone else, because they are the ones who

affirm us; they love us – and we want to be loved and accepted,”

Grigsby said.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“We need to have our own

voice in our heads speaking louder than any of those other voices,

telling us how to take care of ourselves, regardless of that moment

that’s going to be a fleeting moment.”

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“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Something

intergenerational

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“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The summit included

workshops about the body, safe sex, self-esteem, self-respect and

communication. Females of all ages learned from women of the gospel

and women trained in medicine, counseling, education and patient

advocacy.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>The Rev. Traci Blackmon,

pastor of Christ the King, said through the workshop, God reached

women of all ages, races and all walks of life.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“The goal was to do

something intergenerational, because so often when we talk about

HIV and AIDS we have something for girls and something for adults –

and the reality is that they are living in the same house,” said

Blackmon. “Some of us are dealing with the same issues – just at

different age ranges.”

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Blackmon remembered when

children growing up had a lot of “mamas.”

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“In church, you used to

have a lot of mamas, and it just doesn’t seem that way anymore and

we need something in our communities that brings that connection

back,” Blackmon said.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>Blackmon is now working

with men at her church to develop a health session for men and

boys.

“font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: Verdana;”>“I’m looking for some

issue that will bring the teenage boys and the young boys in

conversation with the older men,” Blackmon said. “What we are

leaning towards is looking at violence as a health

issue.”

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