When prayer and an acknowledgement of our country (such as pledging allegiance) were officially removed from school, I (who attended public schools in the 1970s and 1980s) can say essential attitudes such as courtesy, respect and unity began to deteriorate.
It led to the loss of understanding of self, less realization of the need for both conflict resolution skills and the development of coping mechanisms for school aged children. It may appear that these are home educational responsibilities, but I submit that home life, for many reasons, is not what it once was. And even years ago, when socially acceptable behavior was taught at home, it was reinforced in the community which included interaction at school.
For example, a doctor or dentist may go to school, graduate and be certified by their profession, but their status is validated as such only when it is reinforced by successful practice on patients. So it is with our children in school and in community-based programs, where they spend seven to eight hours and in some cases more time. Reinforcement at the core involves the observation, oversight and if necessary correction of education.
We must play a greater role in this vital issue of conduct and interpersonal development, or else our children will grow up to be criminals if they get to grow up at all.
I hope to encourage groups who want to help their country to help youth learn to do these three things.
One, know yourself, which means accepting that humans have things they do well and things they don’t do well. Work on weakness and learn to use strengths in a positive, productive and progressive way.
Two, learn to expect conflict from time to time and find a way that results in the least amount of detriment as possible.
And three, and probably the most critical, learn to find positive ways to cope with negative emotions.
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I’m sure these suggestions may sound like stress management tips and in some ways they have a likeness. But since our children are developing, they can find positive ways such as drawing, writing, reading and discussing those emotions in lieu of using drugs, overindulging in playing video games and overeating, including abusive eating, which contributes to health issues, both physical and mental.
There is no question our youth (our future security) are headed in the wrong way, but with programs that truly address these three areas of development, we can redirect their course and enjoy our future as a country.
We are accepting guest columns in the aftermath of Shirley Deavens’ passing. If you are interested, send a column of no more than 500 words (as a Word document, but also pasting the text) and a photograph of your face (as a jpeg photo file) to cking@stlamerican.com.
