Now that the Super Bowl is upon us, it’s time to regale in festive events, be it watch parties at a bar or a good, old-fashioned house party. Here are some helpful hints on how to conduct yourself.
For the guys, please refrain from having your team’s jersey on that may be a size too small. In some cases, two sizes too small.
Then again, why are you wearing a football jersey in the first place? Even if you lay the claim that you once “played,” you are not playing in this game. Jerseys on out-of-shape guys are a bad idea, especially when you have the name of Manning or Wilson or some other participant on your back. Excuse me, sir, but that’s not you.
By the way, aside from a charity event or a paying appearance, have you ever seen a real player sporting a jersey when it was not during actual competition? Not a good look.
There are some other fashion penalties that you could certainly be flagged for. but the jersey thing is a major infraction here. Go the cap or sweatshirt route, if you must.
Have you ever been to a party and there is one guy who wants to remind you that he was a Madden video champion and show off his football jargon? Yes, there are some showoffs who take themselves that seriously. Congratulations, you are now the smartest guy in the room … or at least you are in your mind. Yep, you will be part of the conversation during the car ride home. Heaven knows what the people who just met you for the first time will think.
While many of us have played ball at some level, not all playbooks are alike when it comes to terminology. So keep it simple, so that most of the people in the room can follow you. Remember, they will be paying Joe Buck and Troy Aikman of FOX Sports the big bucks for sharing their insights. Yours will not be needed.
As for the wagering part, spare me the act that tried to make us think you have a direct line with the Vegas bookies.
For the gals and that jersey thing? Let’s be smart about whether this is a good fit. Unless the player is related to you, stay away from the larger numbers on the jersey, as you do not want to be confused with a person who once played on the line.
All y’all, if this is a house party, bring something that people will appreciate. A six pack of Falstaff would not be a top item unless you are visiting senior citizens. It is not going to cut it at a Super Bowl party.
When it comes to food, if it is good be sure to bring enough so that you do not get shut out. Too many times you set the wings down and then hang up your coat only to see your goodies practically looted. Now you are settling for something less. Bring your own stash. Nothing wrong with sharing, but you are not Jesus, nor should you be expected to multiply bread and fish to feed the masses.
In all, the Super Bowl is an event we should all enjoy with our friends, family and whoever else we get stuck with.
Then again, you can take some very different advice from me: Cook up your favorite dish, invite one person over, perhaps another couple, and that’s it. I learned long ago that the big events are vastly overrated and can be real bummers if your team loses. So why sit through it with a bunch of people in bad-fitting jerseys bragging about their Madden victories using unnecessarily complicated football jargon?
