Seven years ago, boxing legend James “Lights Out” Toney stepped into the UFC Octagon to face former UFC Heavyweight and Light Heavyweight champion Randy Couture. Toney, who was 42 at the time, was no longer a relevant fighter. Still on the strength of his tongue, Toney managed bait UFC President Dana White into a war of words and talk his way into a lucrative, multi-fight deal with the UFC.
Real fight fans knew Toney didn’t stand a chance against Couture in a cage match. Fitness and dedication had never been Toney’s claim to fame. Still, the UFC promoted the circus as a legitimate fight. The UFC went so far as to Photoshop another fighter’s abs over Toney’s pot belly in the promotional photos in order to dupe the fans into buying the event.
How did UFC 118 turn out? Toney was taken to the mat just 15 seconds into the bout and forced to tap out just 3:19 into the fight. It was clear that Toney belonged in an Old Country Buffet, not an Octagon. His UFC contract was immediately cancelled, but not before he pocketed $500K and left a long trail of disappointed fans.
Couture vs Toney wasn’t the first circus show fight. In 1976, Muhammad Ali earned $6 million to fight Japanese professional wrestler Antonio Inoki. Inoki laid on his back for the entire 15 round fight, kicking at Ali’s shins. Ali threw only six punches the entire fight, which ended as a draw. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of Ali’s career.
Other embarrassing fights in history include Antoine Dodson (“Hide ya wife, hide ya kids.”) vs the Bed Intruder, Tyrone vs Big Brody and Todd Bridges vs Vanilla Ice. I think you know where this is going.
Saturday night’s bout between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor is shaping up to be the biggest circus show fight in history. I’m still having a hard time comprehending how Mayweather and McGregor will convince millions of people to shell out $100 to watch via PPV, but they will. They’ve already convinced thousands of people to shell out big bucks to see the fight live.
Just think about it. The greatest technical boxer of his generation will stand across the ring, a boxing ring, against a guy who has never fought in a professional boxing match in his life. If it wasn’t for the massive amount of revenue at stake and the larger-than-life personalities involved, the Nevada State Athletic Commission would probably not even sanction such a farcical fight.
Whoever first uttered the phrase “talk is cheap” is probably rolling over in their grave.
Talk is lucrative. Look no further than the two brash fighters who will collectively earn hundreds of millions of dollars this weekend if you don’t believe me.
The press tour was a series of sophomoric insults, ignorance and expletives that grew tired by the minute. The promotion was reportedly as disorganized as it was chaotic. Die-hard boxing fans don’t seem too interested in the bout, but MMA fans and casual sports fans are drawn to the spectacle and will likely push the PPV numbers well past two million.
Don’t believe the hype.
Mayweather vs McGregor is the second-greatest con job in American history (See the current White House occupant for #1). McGregor, who sports an 18-3 MMA record, has no chance of defeating Mayweather in a boxing match. He’s too slow, too inexperienced and too unskilled. Just like Toney was embarrassed in the Octagon, nine years ago, McGregor will be humiliated against Mayweather.
The only real question is whether the defensive-minded Mayweather will stick to his usual script and outbox McGregor for 12 rounds or use his superior reflexes and skills to counterpunch McGregor into unconsciousness.
I believe anyone who drops $100 on this spectacle, expecting a real fight, will be punished for twelve full rounds of boredom. My prediction: Floyd Mayweather Jr. wins via the easiest decision victory of his life.
Win/Win for Cavs and Celtics
Tuesday night, the NBA world was set on fire when the Cleveland Cavaliers traded Kyrie Irving to the Boston Celtics for Isaiah Thomas, Jae Crowder, Ante Zizic and the Brooklyn Nets’ 2018 first-round draft pick.
The trade is rare in many ways. First, it was a deal between the top two teams in the Eastern Conference. Secondly, the deal features two current NBA All-Stars. Fans and analysts are racing to determine a winner and a loser in this blockbuster deal. In reality, both teams come out ahead.
The Cavs found themselves in a bind after Irving demanded requested a trade at the start of the offseason. Irving is one of the best and most-exciting stars in the league, but was tired of being overshadowed LeBron James.
It’s nothing short of amazing that the Cavs were able to net Thomas (28.9 points and 5.9 assists), the ultimate 3-and-D guy in Crowder (13.9 points and 5.8 rebounds) and still land a pick that will likely be a Top 5 pick in next year’s draft.
The deal gives the Cavs enhanced depth as they attempt to make another run at the juggernaut Golden State Warriors. The team signed point guard Derrick Rose earlier this offseason, giving them another option in the backcourt for those times when the diminutive Thomas puts the team at a disadvantage on the defensive side of the ball.
Also, If James bolts for greener pastures after the season, the Cavs will have the money to keep Thomas and a chance to land Michael Porter Jr. or Marvin Bagley.
The Celtics swapped Thomas, who hinted that he would accept nothing less than a max contract to re-sign, for an elite guard in Irving. Irving has two years remaining on his contract. He’s also not grossly undersized like Thomas, who is generously listed at 5-foot-9. Due to those facts, it’s unlikely that the Celtics would have the same reservations at maxing out Irving that they did with Thomas.
Also with Gordon Hayward, Jayson Tatum and Marcus Morris on board in Boston, Crowder became expendable. Giving up Brooklyn’s draft pick won’t hurt Boston at all, as the team still has a bazillion an impressive cache first-round of picks over the next few seasons as a result of various trades.
Though the Celtics gave up a lot for Irving, “Uncle Drew” could be the final piece of the puzzle to help vault the Celtics past the Cavs in the race for runner-up to the Warriors.
Follow Ishmael and In the Clutch on Twitter @IshmaelSistrunk
