As the fan frenzy for the start of the 2016 NFL season began, I found myself largely unaffected. Following the loss of the Rams to Los Angeles, and the dirty politics involved with the move, I washed my hands of all things NFL – except fantasy football. The Thursday night opener rolled by and I barely batted an eye. Sunday came and went and the only football I’d watched were a few plays while scrolling through channels to find something interesting to watch. NFL football did not apply.
Things changed Monday night.
After finishing up the second season of Narcos on Netflix, I found myself at an entertainment lull. A quick glance at my fantasy football team revealed I was down by a few points and Los Angeles Rams running back Todd Gurley was my last hope for victory. Since Gurley is universally considered to be one of the best running backs in football, I figured that victory was mine. However, when dealing with the Rams, the only reliable thing is disappointment. By halftime, Gurley had only accumulated two fantasy points. I could no longer contain my curiosity and turned on the game.
The disgusting display I witnessed should have been censored by the FCC. Former colleague Palmer Alexander III put it best when he stated the Rams are still afflicted with Bum Disease. QB Case Keenum passed for a paltry 130 yards against a 49ers defense that ranked 29th overall in 2015. He only completed 17 of 35 passes, was sacked twice, threw two interceptions and finished with an abysmal 34.2 QB rating. What is scary is that during the preseason, Keenum looked light years ahead of Jared Goff, the No. 1 overall pick of the NFL Draft. Goff didn’t even suit up for the game, which means he was worse than the guy who was worse than the guy who was by far the league’s worst QB in Week 1. Yikes.
Keenum’s ineptitude meant that the 49ers loaded eight or nine defenders in the box nearly every play and were able to bottle up Gurley, who finished with only 47 yards on 17 carries. Overall, the team finished with just 185 total yards and zero points against a very mediocre defense. The Rams offense was offensive to watch. An ESPN graphic showed the results of the Rams’ drives: Punt, Punt, Punt, Int, Punt, Punt, Punt, Punt, Punt, Punt, Int, Punt, Turnover on Downs, End of Game. It was so bad, that teenage fan, William Navarrete, ran onto the field during the game and racked up more rushing yards in 20 seconds than the Rams did over the course of the entire game.
For all the salty St. Louis football fans, myself included, the Rams’ disgusting showing was a nice reminder that while we lost our team, it was a pretty terrible team. Instead of throwing shade at Rams owner Stan Kroenke, we should rally together and send him flowers in appreciation for removing the toxic stench that seeped out of the Edward Jones Dome eight Sundays a year.
AI and Shaq enter the Hall
Two of the NBA’s biggest stars were officially immortalized when Allen Iverson and Shaquille O’Neal were inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame.
Iverson captivated the audience with his acceptance speech with the rawness and authenticity that made The Answer a legend on the hardwood. The NBA’s godfather of swag thanked former Georgetown coach John Thompson for “saving his life” and former Philadelphia 76ers coach Larry Brown for helping to mold him into a superstar. Just like during his career, Iverson wore his heart on his sleeve during his half-hour speech. He fought back tears as he reminisced on an illustrious career that included 24,368 points, an MVP selection, 11 NBA All-Star selections and four scoring titles. He made no apologies or excuses for the way he played the game, lived his life or the decisions that he made. His speech mirrored his career, one of the best you’ll ever see.
O’Neal’s induction speech was also one for the ages. As you would expect from one of the biggest (literally and figuratively) goofballs of all-time, O’Neal peppered his speech with humorous punchlines. The most memorable barb came at the expense of a recently retired former teammate and future Hall of Fame inductee.
“Last, but not least, Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant: a guy that would push me and help me win three titles in a row,” O’Neal stated. “He’d also help me get pushed off the team and get me traded to Miami.”
O’Neal’s playful speech showed off the personality that made him one of the most-beloved superstars and allowed him to seamlessly transition into one of the world’s top sports personalities. His light-hearted personality falls in direct contrast with the physical beast that enabled him to dominate during his NBA career en route to four NBA championships, three NBA Finals MVP awards, one NBA regular-season MVP and 15 All-Star selections.
O’Neal was the butt-end of a joke by fellow inductee Yao Ming, who told the story of how O’Neal didn’t speak to him for years because he didn’t realize the Chinese-born Houston Rockets great spoke English.
Iverson and O’Neal are two of my all-time favorite basketball players. They each changed the game in their own way. It’s great to see them both inducted in the same Hall of Fame class.
Other inductees included Sheryl Swoopes, Tom Izzo and Jerry Reinsdorf.
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