“No one wants more drama or trauma in the life of the child,” said psychotherapist Eddie McCaskill.
Sometimes in order for fathers to get back into the lives of their children in a positive manner, they have to face their own emotional hurts, physical or sexual trauma, then heal from it. McCaskill facilitates this healing process at the Father’s Support Center in St. Louis. He said the answers are inside.
“A lot of times, the father may be afraid to contact the mother, ostensibly, if that relationship ended on a negative trauma,” McCaskill said. “The psychological, emotional aspect of it is, that father is healing. A lot of them have experienced trauma.”
Perhaps it was growing up in a household where one of the parents may have abused drugs, or they themselves have endured physical and emotional abuse, McCaskill explained.
“A lot of times, after talking with some of the guys, they may verbalize at one time they have been victims of sexual abuse,” he said. “I try to move them through that so they can move their lives forward.”
Although it is the Father’s Support Center, it keeps mothers in the loop.
“A lot of times, I will reach out to the mothers and talk with them as to the progress of the fathers are making,” he said. He talks to the fathers about those conversations as well.
“I’ve never really gotten a negative reaction from the mothers, but they want that father to be a positive role model in the lives of their children, and you got to keep your end of the bargain.”
Seeing a therapist does not mean “something is wrong” with the client, McCaskill said. Therapy helps the men to be honest with themselves – while building the fortitude to make positive changes.
He teaches people “not to concentrate and put all your energy on the past,” but focus on the present and future. “Put your energy into that,” he advises, “and become the very best person you can be.”
Counselors need to present options. “Maybe there is something you haven’t tried,” he said. “But also, I let them know that you know what the answer is, but a lot of times, there is fear, because this is change.”
McCaskill’s approach involves establishing and building a rapport with the fathers. With the intense 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. program at the Father’s Support Center, McCaskill said the men build a rapport with other fathers and with the staff as well.
Rapport aside, the men can have many challenges to overcome.
“Being out of the life of that child and then you want to come back in, a lot of times there may be roadblocks with that – child support, or sometimes … in regards to that child support, their license may have been taken away. The agency has other programs for that, but a lot of times, they have to also address those problems too,” he explained.
McCaskill works with social workers and job developers to assist getting fathers back on track, including men who served time behind bars.
“They try to work with companies who will hire persons who may have been incarcerated in the past,” McCaskill said. “That’s really a big plus, because if you want to get back into the life of your child again and come up with your child support, you’re going need a job, so the agency has devoted a lot of resources to that.”
McCaskill is a St. Louis native, who originally saw jazz music as his probable career. It was during an extended full-time teaching assignment, while attending graduate school in California that McCaskill changed direction. He spent his lunchtime listening to and counseling students with their problems. By the end of the school year, McCaskill said he had 20-25 students he talked to during lunchtime.
“I thought this might be what I need to do,” he said. “It kind of led me to where my passion is, which is just to be able to connect and talk to people. It just seemed to be a natural gift.”
McCaskill’s undergraduate degree is in psychology from Pepperdine University in Malibu, California. He earned a master’s degree in Community Psychology from California State University; a Master’s in Social Work from Washington University in St. Louis and earned his doctorate in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University.
In addition to his work at the Father’s Support Center, McCaskill has provided mental health services in the St. Louis area for more than 23 years and continues to do so. He counsels children and families of the Let’s Start program who have at least one incarcerated biological parent. He is a mental health consultant for St. Louis YouthBuild. He founded and operates the community wellness organization, MPRINT, Motivating Positive Restoration in Neighborhoods Together. McCaskill is also a state licensure supervisor for dozens of licensed professional counselors and licensed clinical social workers in the St. Louis area.
