As our plane sat at the gate in Charlotte, North Carolina, I hurriedly typed a message before the flight attendant said to turn off all electronic devices. I was traveling to Asheville, North Carolina for a scientific meeting. It was the annual Beeson conference, one of my favorite conferences to attend because the focus is on aging research and I get to see a number of my colleagues from across the country. However, I wasn’t so excited about going to Asheville.
Admittedly, I knew very little about Asheville although I traveled through the city a few times when I lived in North Carolina during my residency. But the fact that I needed to take two planes to get there was not pleasing.
Soon after I realized where the meeting would be held, I remembered that one of my dear friends had recently moved to Asheville. I was suddenly even more excited about the meeting.
After our very short (20-minute) connecting flight from Charlotte, I walked out of the small Asheville airport to see a beautiful young woman, fabulously dressed. Standing next to her large SUV, she looked as if she could be anywhere. New York, Atlanta, or even Paris. I ran over to greet her and we exchanged hugs like the long time friends we were. We jumped into her SUV and drove to her daughter’s school. We chatted cheerfully and in no time we had arrived at the school where we picked up a gorgeous, smiling kindergartner.
As I enjoyed the afternoon with my friend, I dreaded having to leave to go to the meeting. It had been seven years since she moved from St. Louis and a little longer since she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I won’t say that I forgot that she is a breast cancer survivor but I will say that she was more than surviving. She was thriving!
After being diagnosed with breast cancer in her early 30’s, just a few years after she got married, she was definitely doing well. I was very proud to know her. She completed her treatment, including chemotherapy, and was cancer-free. She got pregnant (even though she was told the chemotherapy would probably cause infertility) and had a beautiful daughter.
I wish we had more stories like hers. A story of triumph. A story with a headline- ‘Young woman found cancer, stopped her car momentarily, kicked the cancer out, and kept going.’
Certainly she wasn’t ‘supposed’ to get cancer in her 30’s. She was healthy, active, went to see her doctor regularly. Of course, cancer doesn’t really care if you are expecting it or not. It just shows up so you have to deal with it. That’s just what she did when she found a lump in her breast. She didn’t ignore it or explain it away. She faced her biggest fears, got the diagnosis, smiled through her treatments, looked fabulous through all of the changes to her hair, and now lives a fulfilling life.
I’m often surprised by how many people ignore changes in their bodies including women who ignore lumps in their breasts. I think that some of them worry that only bad will happen if they acknowledge the change. But I think my good friend, the breast cancer thriver, wants you to know that confronting the issue is much better than pretending it doesn’t exist.
As for Asheville, it was more beautiful and cosmopolitan than I expected. On the night before I returned home, I had a lovely dinner with my friend and her family. In her beautiful, stylishly decorated, warm home that could have been anywhere in the world.