Even though he was a lightweight “bitter brother” for a hot second, I’ve decided to refer to an extremely personal experience as I dissect the nuggets of wisdom that “Reverend Beene” (an inside joke) imparted on us members of the single black female congregation.
“How many times do we ignore clear signs that we should steer clear of a person.” Bill asked.
The choice of punctuation was a period to drive home the point that he was being rhetorical.
“How many times do people play the lottery and lose?” is my rhetorical answer … or question … or whatever.
I am probably the most guilty of the “even though I might not be winning right now, if I keep playing I will hit that powerball and be set for life” love concept.
Everyone has that friend that y’all huddle up and gossip behind her back among yourselves, saying, “Why is she putting up with this mess? She can’t be that stupid? If I were her, I would have been done – as a matter of fact, I wouldn’t have even started!”
She is the one who continues running in circles in the name of love.
Yeah, that’s me.
My friends have been whispering and having secret sister-circle intervention meetings concerning my inability to escape a particular man’s grasp for close to two decades. Okay, that makes me sound really old – but it is what it is.
Anyway, it’s all behind this guy I met when I was 18 whose life continues to intersect with mine. It could be that I lay down in the middle of his path anytime the opportunity even remotely presents itself. However, since I’m telling this story, I can spin it any way I want!
In all fairness to myself, there does seem to be some destiny/serendipity involved. Let one of my closest friends tell it, it’s Satan. Either way – no matter what – as soon as I feel like I’m working to shake this person out of my life, he keeps poppin’ back up.
Prime example, I went out of town for my GSU (Grambling) dorm buddy’s wedding. She just happens to live in the same city where this man resides – and she was with me that fateful night in 1994 when he and I met. Do you see what I’m talking about?
Now I was traveling with one of the biggest adversaries of this “non-relationship.” But where there is a will, there’s a way, right? Absolutely.
Wait, I guess I should give a little background on the nature of our non-relationship.
We met. I fell in love. He stayed in touch, for the sake of the constant and instant ego boosts that come with the territory of having someone completely smitten with you.
From then to now, he offers just enough to keep me hanging on – but not too much for me to think that we are actually in a traditional relationship.
Meanwhile, he simultaneously has “official” lady friends he thinks that I don’t know about. He even got married while we were (not) dating, which I honestly had no clue about until they split up.
It’s really sad. I’m the oldest living sideline chick.
After last weekend, my legacy continues. I had to make moves like I did when I was sneaking’ into the Wiz and the Animal House back in the day, but I managed to spend time with my (non) “guy friend.” I was caught red-handed and had to deal with a few demeaning text messages and shame for my emotional setback.
“When you peep something that you know you shouldn’t put up with, get out before love chains you there and makes you slave to their good looks. This is old-school advice, but too many people refuse to subscribe to it,” Bill Beene said.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Oh, and looks have nothing to do with it.
In all fairness to myself, besides the (non) attention I get from him I got nothing along the lines of a personal life. And at this point, almost nothing beats absolutely nothing, all day long. Any insight?
And please don’t give me a sermon on looking within my league – because I’m nothing if not a realist with respect to my 2.5 star status.
Remember that throwback R&B classic “What You Won’t Do For Love,” by Bobby Caldwell? Wasn’t that the jam?
Well, it should be chopped and screwed into “What You Won’t Do Out of Loneliness” for the single ladies of this generation.