“Hey, long time no see,” guy says to girl as I ear-hustle at one of the 900 pre-Halloween activities going on this past weekend in St. Louis.
“I was just wondering why you weren’t feeling me. I’m engaged and my fiancé is the most beautiful and wonderful woman, by the way. But what happened?”
“To who?” I thought to myself. “You should be happy because you are allegedly about to marry the woman of your dreams. Why would you even trip off of somebody that was obviously just passing through?”
I’ve never been so confused in the midst of being nosy in all of my life, but I rolled with it.
I actually knew both of the parties involved in the conversation. I got caught in the crossfire as he approached me to say “hello” and recognized my friend as someone who had romantically rejected him a few years back.
“I mean, did I say something wrong? Was I not what you were looking for?” It was all types of blah, blah, blah and woo, woo, woo, asking her how could she pass up on such a good thing and he thought they had something special.
I felt uncomfortable as the third wheel, so I can only imagine what she was going through emotionally. At this point I decide to run an interference – that’s what friends are for, right? I ended up turning a flicker underneath a pan of grease into a five-alarm blaze.
“I’m mean, if you’re engaged to somebody else, what difference does it make?” I stupidly ask. “Aren’t you happy that it didn’t work out so you could get to the love of your life?”
It was the most supreme failure.
“I’m a perfectionist, and I’m always trying to improve myself and be the best me that I can be … and plus, I always just really wanted to know.”
Boyfriend had our mingle/network opportunity in a chokehold as he refused to release us from the uncomfortable situation – until she gave him something to go on.
He was not playin’, either. Finally, she gave him what I’m sure was a consolation answer. “You were just too into me, you were feeling me a little too much and I pulled away.”
And just when I thought the ball was primed for a slam dunk game point for us to join the rest of society, he let us know he was comin’ hard with the defense.
“I don’t understand. What did I do to make you think that I was feeling you too much? I thought that women liked it when men acted as if they were feeling them. I assumed that was a good thing.”
He was extremely determined to get to the bottom of why this woman wasn’t trying to be loved all up on him so that he could live happily ever after with somebody else.
I was bewildered, but determined to save the night. Unfortunately, just as always when I’m confused, utter tactless confusion leaves my lips to the point of no return.
“Well, you must not have been really trippin’ off your fiancé at first then, right?” I said, in what may arguably be the most tragic transition ever to enter a conversation.
“What are you talking about?” he replied. “I love my fiancé. She’s beautiful, she’s wonderful. She’s perfect.”
More blah, blah, blah about how great this woman is and how my friend must have obviously missed out on a good thing because he had to be poppin’ like dynamite to pull a chick like he did.
He saw some people he knew and said, “Stay right there, I want to get to the bottom of this” to my friend as he proceeded to greet these other people.
We ran across the foyer like it was the Underground Railroad and our freedom depended on us making it to the other side.
I was so wonked out by the whole ordeal that I had to know about this relationship that had him all chopped and screwed.
As we made it the North of the party, I was all intrigued about the relationship. “How long were y’all a couple?” I asked.
I assumed that his “overly assertive” personality was the cause of the relationship’s doom.
“Girl, I went on one date with him and never talked to him again,” she replied.
All of that, for a failed first date. Come to find out, she was telling the truth to him, too. Either he’s extremely conceited, insecure, clueless or all of the above.
And just when I was about to call him all types of lame for his behavior and even go so far as to blame it on the alcohol, I realized that we’ve all done it.
Even though most of us have sense enough to keep it in the confines of our minds, we’ve had that person that you thought you connected with, but for them … not so much.
It seems easier said than done, but I think all of us have to remember that everything ain’t for everybody! Especially if you are ready to spend your ever after with somebody else.
